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Song Parodies -> "Crummy Comedian"

Original Song Title:

"Karma Chameleon"

Original Performer:

Boy George (Culture Club)

Parody Song Title:

"Crummy Comedian"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Not everybody can be George Carlin sometimes people need to be George Lopez
There’s no laughter from the crowd while on stage
From Dane Cook and Robin Williams stole a page
Wave my arms like I am spastic
That's how Dane makes all his dough
While I speak in goofy accents
The crowd just groans
Beer cans are thrown

Crummy crummy crummy crummy crummy
Crummy Comedian
I can’t tell jokes
They yell “Go home!”
Thought that I was funny and they’d burst at the seams
Dennis Leary
Thinks I’m a creep

Tried to use the same routines like “Take my wife”
“Airline peanut” jokes and that “George Bush strife”
So the crowd has become vicious
Can’t use zings, Don’t do Improv
Grabbed the mic thought I was clever
I joked of bongs
They struck the gong

Crummy crummy crummy crummy crummy
Crummy Comedian
I can’t tell jokes
I’m such a dope
How does that Bill Cosby make them laugh and scream?
Eddie Murphy
Called me a dweeb

It’s so bad crickets are frightful (Are frightful)
They will not chirp. Noise is stifled
Up on stage mocking the Bible (The Bible)
Crap! Those Catholics have packed rifles!

Seems I lack comedic timing
So I won’t be earning dough
I attempt some clever rhyming
They say “You blow!
So hit the road!”

Crummy crummy crummy crummy crummy
Crummy Comedian
Don’t quit your job!
Unfunny slo-ah-ob!
Said things that were sleazy but it made them peeved
They had to heave
I’m too obscene!

Crummy crummy crummy crummy crummy
Crummy Comedian
I can’t tell jokes
On stage I cho-oh-oke
The crowd’s feeling queasy as I’m discussing ‘queefs’
They grit their teeth
In seats they seethe

Crummy crummy crummy crummy crummy
Crummy Comedian
No clever quips
Escape my li-i-ips
Rednecks keep on laughing for Jeff Foxworthy
They bust their spleens
While their demeaned

Crummy crummy crummy crummy crummy
Crummy Comedian
I try to jest
But I’m a mess!
Against this brick wall I might whizz my jeans
A scary scene
Hecklers are mean!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wild Child JIN - December 06, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL!!! :-D This is SO funny, it almost makes me split my loincloth!! LOL!! :-D 555 for the one on the stool!! ;-)
Christie Marie M - December 06, 2010 - Report this comment
This is so funny! I sure got a great laugh out of this ditty! My fave comedians are Jim Carrey, Leslie Nielsen, Chris Farley, Rodney Dangerfield (RIP to 3), Joe Pesci, and much more. Yeah, I can make jokes, but I'm a crummy comedian myself. Laugh it up with some 5's!!
Blaydeman - December 20, 2010 - Report this comment
The comedian in the song may not be funny, but YOU SIR are HILARIOUS!!!! Instead of a beer bottle, how about I throw some 555's on the stage.
Below Average Dave - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
I had to cringe at the opening two lines buddy--you know me and speech. . .but not a bad write overall--this is a tougher song to parody than it may look like on the outside
Matthias - December 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Just because I got rid of the word "I"? I honestly didn't think it was that important.
Below Average Dave - December 31, 2010 - Report this comment
There’s no laughter from the crowd while on stage can be referring to anyone because no one is identified, as is the case with the next line. Whenever you leave out words that without them make the line overly ambiguous or awkward, it shows if it gets recorded. "There's no laughter from crowds while I'm on stage, Dane Cook and Robin Williams earned me my wage" There's always a way to make things work grammatically and read. . .it is that important, trust me, always remember the infamous line "Blow Man Kind'--that's the kind of stuff that happens in recordings when things are left out. Many people do it, even I have caught things that have to be edited for recording purposes, this is not as bad grammatically when compared to your older works by any means, but "I" is an important word, it's not like "Just" or "Like", or sometimes "The" were there are ways around it to say the same thing. . .not including I does not identify who it is about, and without any previous lines, there is no implication set--if spoken it'd sound weird, and that's the best way to check your grammar. . .simply speak it out loud and ask yourself, "If I said this to another person would it make sense immediately or would it require the person to think". . .or even better, "If I said this in front of my English Teacher would he or she hit the ceiling" Just food for thought, I only point it out to you because I know you like your songs to be as close to recordable as possible so that when I go to record them I don't have to make major edits, it gets them done faster and increases the likelihood of me recording them.
agrimorfee - January 08, 2011 - Report this comment
I am afraid that Dave has a point there, Matty...sure the "I" being implied seems obvious but it just really reads weird, especially when you DO bring the "I" into play by the fourth. That being said, this was stupendously hilarious, with the name drops, the clever descriptions of why this guy is bad, the matching rhymes, chorus changes...all on top of a difficult song that I never could figure out how to properly parody back in the day.
bobpiecheese - January 08, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I'm a big fan of stand-up comedy, so I really loved this parody. Very well done, insert-what-Agri-said-minus-the-dropped-"I"-thing-since-I-don't-care here, 555 for you!
Matthias - January 09, 2011 - Report this comment
So if this one gets recorded take the Weird Al pacing liberties on the first couple lines and put the "I" back in there and we'll all be set. It could be worse, I could have this written like Guy DiRito. (No offense Guy if you see this comment)
Rex - January 09, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I tried to do stand up comedy years ago, but people just laughed at me. Great idea well done.

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