There's a silence in the room, no applause.
If I listen I can't hear any guffaws.
I'm a clown . . . without ambition.
I'm a clown . . . without a joke.
I can't stand - the crowd's derision.
I'm just a bloke . . . I'm going broke.

Common, common, common, common, Common Comedian.
I come and go . . . Don't stop no show.
Famous would be easy, they don't ask you to sweep the floor,
Run to the store, or guard the door.

You don't think I hear your vile jibes onstage.
Those who heckle from the floor, and those backstage,
Say my talent's nonexistent.
I can see the morning news.
Sticks and stones - can never hurt me,
Like bad reviews . . . Such bad reviews.

Common, common, common, common, Common Comedian.
I'm not on Jay . . . I'm not on Dave.
If I had a lover, maybe I'd make the tabloid news.
I've paid my dues . . . I sing the blues.

Then, tonight the taunts grew louder.
My agent sent me - to the shower.
He said, "Kid, you're just not funny.
Be a waiter - you'll make more money."

I'm a man - with two convictions,
One more strike - I'm back in jail.
Captive crowds - are mine in prison.
It never fails . . . Lock up my tail.


Common, common, common, common, Common Comedian.
Six-Five-Oh-Three . . That number's me.
Friday nights you're gonna find me onstage in Cellblock Nine.
This crowd is mine . . . And I've got time.