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Song Parodies -> "Toilet Shopping"

Original Song Title:

"You Give Love A Bad Name"

Original Performer:

Bon Jovi

Parody Song Title:

"Toilet Shopping"

Parody Written by:

Sameh Khan

The Lyrics

A guy needs to use the toilet while shopping. Not written with much care. Comments (constructive) would be appreciated.
I need relief,
my bladders gonna burst,
I need a piss... right now.

Should have taken... a piss before,
But i didn't... and now I'll go on the floor

Chains of love got a hold on me
When passions a prison, you cant break free

I've got a loaded gun
Theres nowhere to run
A toilet can save me
The damage ain't done (yet)

Ran through the mart
Ran through the aisle
No sweat... theres another mile.
Im last in line, and theres an old guy in front
Please make him quick, coz i gotta run
Please make him quick... coz i gotta run.

Muscles tighten, on my hips
Im holding it in, I hope i don't trip
This ain't a dream, its gonna come soon
That can of orange juice is the janitors doom

I've got a loaded gun
Theres nowhere to run
A toilet can save me
The damage ain't done

Ran to the pisser
Ran to the wall
Shit, it ain't there, so I'll use a stall
Theres crap floating in it
But i dont care
I pull down my pants and let out a trail

I've got an empty gun
I walk out fine
The girls all stare
I look at the sign...
If you didn't figure it out, he went to the womens toilet.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

2Eagle - December 06, 2007 - Report this comment
I sympathize. Now look up parody authors and find Poomaster and, also, look up 2Eagle's parody of My Little Girl.
Red Ant - December 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Was just thinking about this song today. Good work here - tighten up the pacing and change up the verbatim lines from the original and you'll improve in no time.
Sameh Khan - December 07, 2007 - Report this comment
I didn't notice that i left the originl lines intact. Ive changed them... but i cant change it on the site.
Serevi - December 08, 2007 - Report this comment
I can sympathise also, sounds like you were going through the same experience as me when i wrote my "Walking Cross-Legged" parody! lol! Good job though, like Red Ant said tighten up th pacing and you'll do really well! :D

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