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Song Parodies -> "Against The Spread"

Original Song Title:

"Against The Wind"

Original Performer:

Bob Seger

Parody Song Title:

"Against The Spread"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

The picks below are for entertainment purposes only
In Vegas yesterday
Betting on sports for fun
Took Tulane over Pitt I thought I had it won
Up five in the fourth with only seven secs to go
Pitt...had the ball at their ten
The QB heaved downfield
Pass was caught, defenders they collided
Then there was nothing left between that dude and the endzone

And I remember what Jim said to me
That the moneyline would be my end
I remember how Pitt was favored by three
Wish I knew then all the stuff I know now

Against the spread
Should be betting against the spread
I’d have won that game if I’d bet it
Against the spread

As the day rolled slowly past
Still hoped I’d get on a roll
I tried to get back up with a twelve team parlay
I found myself further and further in the hole
So I guess I lost my shirt
Missing oh so many games
Really didn’t think I could get them all wrong
Never worried about savings or selling some stuff I owned
Betting ten CFL games, there aren’t even ten teams
Taking New England and the under
When Brady threw his eighth touchdown pass
The score went “over” for my next blunder

Against the spread
A little action against the spread
I found myself seeking home dogs against the spread

Well slot machine days are past me now
I’ve got so many games to think about
Parlays and teaser cards
Which teams are in, who to leave out

Against the spread
I’m still betting against the spread
I’m wiser now and betting
Against the spread

I’m a miser now and still betting
Against the spread

Against the spread
Against the spread: Still betting
Against the spread: I’m still betting against the spread
Against the spread: Let the Cowboys ride!
Against the spread: Take the points and bet the spread
Against the spread: Jets verses Patriots?
Against the spread: Wouldn't touch that...even against the spread
Against the spread: Terps plus five?
Against the spread: It's a lock against the spread
Against the spread: Central Michigan plus 8?
Against the spread: Bowl's in Detroit so bet them against the spread

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
hate the OS...dug this
Laurie Alexander - December 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Ah...a real field good song. Or, is it a feel goal song? Very enjoyable. Looking forward to what you come up with during baseball season. Just don't bet against the Yankees. Deal?
Rex - January 12, 2008 - Report this comment
How in the world did I miss this? Perfect concept and execution, I bet 555 on this.
Red Ant - January 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Oooh, I'm embarrased to admit I would have bet against this working as a recording - I had trouble following the lyrics to TOS and couldn't figure out some of where rhymes were supposed to be. That said, I'm glad I didn't bet because I would have lost - TOS has sometimes short, sometimes long, rambling lines that lend a great deal of flexibility for a recording. The lyrics not here that were added to the recording were really good, and as a part-time sport fan I dug the recording. This would be perfect for a sports bar. 555.
Matthias - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
This left me completely clueless. I'm not a sports fan to begin with, but when you bring in fake sports, like "Fantasy" football, and betting on "Fantasy" football, you lost me at Vegas... Sorry Jeff, if I knew more about this I probably would have liked but, but being clueless never helps.
Agrimorfee - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Not my topic of choice, either, but you seem to know what you are talking about here. Extra points in your scorecard for changing Bob's ad libs during the fadeout.
Jeff Reuben - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks Alvin, Laurie, Rex, RA, Matthias, Agrimorfee. Actually, there were no "Fantasy" football references in here (everything was about actual football games, betting on "real" games, etc), but I knew the song would hit a specific audience :)
McKludge - January 19, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - Better pay up your gambling debts, or characters from Guy DiRito's parodies will come and bust your kneecaps. Pretty good job on a free-form OS.
Peter Andersson - January 22, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - You know what they say about parody writers, money and parting... or was that partying, I bet I'd mix them up...
Max Power - January 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Loan sharks may do more than voting 111 on this
Michael E Cormier - January 27, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - The Bookie Shuffle. Good work.
Guy - January 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM Dec 2007) - Love the Seger song but never bet on sports events mainly because my finances are "spread" too thin.
bobpiecheese - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Sports parodies I don't like. Gambling parodies I do like. Here you got both. Not my fave of yours, Jeff.
stuart mcarthur - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) you always come up with clever ideas for plays on the title, Jeff, (eg. "that's why we all hit the snooze") and this is a great example - you should start up a hedge fund with these spread insights - 555
Invisible Boy - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I thought this was an excellent idea. I've been around this scene and I can see you have been too. What action will you give me for the Superbowl ?
Phil Alexander - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Here was me thinking that this was going to be about dieting.. luckily, I didn't bet on that :-)
Kristof Robertson - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Not your fault, Jeff; but I understand sports parodies about as much as Lithuanian. Still, I can appreciate the craft involved in creating 555 it is
Below Average Dave ( - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I did get the whole parody, and I thought it was very funny Jeff. Betting against the odds (or the spread) is generally not good advice--but if it works for you hey:) I bet "Against the Spread" last time I was at the horse track in 4 of 7 races, I walked out of there with over 500 bucks (having gone in with 50) . . .I lost two races, neither of which were Against the Spread, so I get it.
Jack Wilson - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job! 5s
Mikey Squirrel - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM- I love the line 'Let the Cowboys ride', it fits in so perfectly. Well done, Jeff. Odd side note- my security code is BET.. very weird.
EmiLoca - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - I'm with Kristof. Sports parodies go over my head like... um, baseballs... over the nets of... linebackers... but I still really appreciated this. In any case, an improvement on the OS. :)
Agrimorfee - March 09, 2014 - Report this comment
(ABC) Bet that you will do well in this ABC Round.
Blaydeman - March 15, 2014 - Report this comment
(ABC) This parody definitely covered the spread.
bobpiecheese - March 21, 2014 - Report this comment
(ABC) Six years later, still barely understood this. Obviously not your fault, you clearly know what you're talking about. I just don't, and thus I really couldn't get into this.
Matthias - March 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Still not a fan of this one but it's not too shabby.

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