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Song Parodies -> "Shards of Glass"

Original Song Title:

"Heart of Glass"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Shards of Glass"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Once I had a vase, but it did not last
It soon became several shards of glass
My fingers never cling, they just can’t bind
I’m a huge klutz, fell on my behind

My plasma screen was watched all the time
Till boots flew off and cracked the outside
Shouldn’t wear steel-toed that should be a crime
Stupid huge klutz, wasted every dime

Priceless things
I find a way of breaking without paying mind
I don’t think I’m abusing, but my engine grinds
My drawers are filled with super glue, Misunderstood
My blender’s cracked in two

Had a great laptop few have surpassed
Sprayed Windex and it was outcast
Fried all the inner parts it had assigned
Electronics and juice aren’t great combined

Circuits fried
The cause of my confusion is the reason why
It’s not caused by misusing, it’s not tossed aside
I think that oil’s oozing! Yech!

A clumsy guy who got your curtains to ignite

Ooooh, no… Ooooh, no…
Ooooh, no… Oooh, no…

Once stayed warm when windows were latched
Tossed a baseball and were shards of glass
Seems like I never think, don’t use my mind
I smashed my lamps, now it’s like I’m blind

Ooooh, no… Ooooh, no…
Ooooh, no… Oooh, no…
Ooooh, no… Oooh, no…

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Invisible Boy - November 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Hey Matty, I guess we were thinking alike today. Another fine chapter in the "I am a klutz" annals. See ya in the Blondie comp.
John Barry - November 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Laughed my glass off.
Ann Hammond - November 20, 2008 - Report this comment
he he
Guy - November 22, 2008 - Report this comment
I had a hard time following this. It was somehow disjointed to me. The pace and rhyme were spot on but I still don't get it. You totally lost me on the super glued drawers and how that relates to a blender. It must be me because everyone else seems to have gotten it. Sorry.
Agrimorfee - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This matched pace for pace and rhyme for rhyme (almost as a misheard lyric parody) which added to the humor for me. 555
Rex - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) If you and Arwen ever showed up at the same place the world would probably explode. This one needs a video.
bobpiecheese - December 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Never would've guessed the clumsy theme from the title, but you worked it in very well. And Rex, I think the universe would explode if Arwen and Matthias were in the same place. Better hold off the AmiRight convention then...555 Band-Aids for you!
Arwen - December 03, 2008 - Report this comment
The world would explode with COOLNESS, you should say.
Invisible Boy - December 03, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree with Agri about the "pace for pace and rhyme for rhyme".
At least tonight, you and Guy are making me rethink my approach.
For some reason tonight I'm thinking about "style" vs. "funny" vs. "clever" vs. "wordplay" vs. "just plain good"
I will say that I think this is "just plain good" (in a good way)...
Since this is my last comment tonight, if you will permit me...what about a contest where authors enter anonymously, perhaps to the same song, and the contest is to match the author with the parody. I nominate Guy as the mediator...
Invisible Boy - December 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Below Average Dave - December 04, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) What Agri said, that's part of the makeup to an extent in every parody. Alter it just slightly allows easy recognition to OS, because of that and the amount of humor you squeezed into a short song, I have to give high marks here. I really like your rhyming.
Brad Snyder - February 28, 2018 - Report this comment
Ah, a kindred klutz. You speakin' my language, Matthias. I copied and pasted (don't worry, I deleted when I was done) your lyrics and Blondie's side-by-side to compare. Very clever. A lot of work went into this, for sure. 5 all-thumbs up! Great job.
Peregrin - March 02, 2018 - Report this comment
I had a look as per your suggestion, Matty. Pacing and rhyming, as many others have noted, are spot on. A FINE job indeed :)

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