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Song Parodies -> "Coffee"

Original Song Title:

"Call Me"

Original Performer:

Blondie

Parody Song Title:

"Coffee"

Parody Written by:

Ashkicksass

The Lyrics

I'll admit it. I have a problem. With freshly ground coffee beans. It started when I was just a little girl, and my mother used to add a tablespoon of brewed coffee to my milk. I thought I was in heaven...
I need it in the morning baby
Just to start my day
I cannot live without it or else
I would fade away
My addictions' on the rise
It might lead to my surmise...

Coffee!
I mainline
Coffee Coffee always on my mind
Coffee!
It's so fine
Without it I'd fall on my behind
Coffee!

Sometimes I drink Folgers baby
Sometimes it's Yuban
Other times it's Maxwell House
Not picky 'bout the brand
Just pour a little in my cup
You will see my face light up

Coffee!
I mainline
Coffee Coffee makes me feel so fine.
Coffee!
It's divine
If I do not get it I will whine
Coffee!

Oooooh, I like my coffee strong and rich.
Oooooh, take it away and - I'm a b!tch
Oooooh, without it I might pass away
In the morn, in the eve, any time of the day
In the morn, in the eve, any time of the day, hey!

(In homage to Arwen - Juan Valdez' KICK ASS Guitar solo.)

Coffee!
All the time.
For some coffee I'd commit a crime.
Coffee
To the line.
Coffee Coffee wish it cost a dime.

Coffee!
I mainline
Coffee coffee makes me feel so fine
Coffee!
It's divine
If I do not get it I will whine
Coffee!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 3
 2
 
 5   12
 11
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
The full strength, Ash...555! Two things, though...1) Did you mean "surmise" or "demise"? and 2) You can say bitch at Amiright without censure... I did on "Primadonna" a few days back (shameless plug!)...Well done anyway
Arwen - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
I TOTALLY would have given this three 5s even without the super flattering shout out to yours truly...but yeah...my ego doesn't mind a little stroaking now and then. AWESOME, Ashkicksass!! You crack me up!! And Kristof, maybe she just didn't want to say bitch because she is against swearing. Okay...now I'm the one cracking myself up...
Kristof Robertson - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
With a name like Ashkickass, I think you're OK with profanity, Ash....keep up the good work
Ashkicksass - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Yes, I meant demise! How embarassing! Maybe I should change my name to Ashdumbass. Oh, and as for bitch - I wasn't sure, so I figured I'd just stay on the safe side.
Johnny D - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
I'll drink to that. 5's
Arwen - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
If you change your name to Ashdumbass, I'm changing mine to Arwen Scapegrace.
Johnny D - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
BTW, when I said "I'll drink to that" I was referring to this excellent coffee-themed parody......not to your self-deprecating comment about a hypothetical change-of-name, my dear Ashkicksass......anyone who can write like you did here is no dumb-ass!
Arwen - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't coddle her, JD...she'll change her mind!! And I've already called the Social Security Office about the Scapegrace transition.
Melhi - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow... it's like you read my mind and stared deep into my soul!! *grin* In other words, great work, Ashkicksass!
Claude Prez - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
I demise that this is a great parody.
Cookie-man - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
That was AWESOME! I can totally relate. Well done! :)
Ashkicksass - June 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - no offense taken. I knew what you meant. Miss Scapegrace - shush, Claude - LOL, and Melhi and Cookie-man -Thanks!
Spaff.com - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Love the original, love the parody. But coffee? In Utah?! I'll bet you drive across the border to Evanston for the full-strength stuff.
Rick D - August 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Areyoumakingfunofmyfavoritevice?
Ashkicksass - August 23, 2004 - Report this comment
No! That would be blasphemous...

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