What's the matter with the Neighbours writers?
Can't they tell that this story's lame?
Maybe they believe this story's exciting
But I just find it so mundane.
Where have you been hidin' out lately, sonny?
You can't write like this and get paid a lot of money.
Everybody's talkin' 'bout this plot line
Funny, but it's still Flick and Joel to me

What's the matter with their use of actors?
Can't they tell that it's getting bad?
They should follow up a long-dead story
All about Susan K and Tad
Nowadays it seems a great piece of folly
To ask for acting out of Daniel and Holly
What for, big snore, all been done before
It's still Flick and Joel to me

Oh, it doesn't matter what they say in the forum
'Cause it's always been the same old scene.
There's a new plot in town
But it breaks no new ground, like a story in a magazine...
That we've already seen

How about a really juicy story
What they've got is just really pants
They could really have some great scriptwriting
If they just gave it half a chance.
There's not many viewers that this plot line will garner,
You get more mileage out of Lance and Allana.
Replay, no way, who cares, anyway?
It's still Flick and Joel to me

What's the matter with the Neighbours writers?
"Don't you know that they're out of touch?
Do they try to write a great soap opera?
If they do, they aren't up to much.
"Don't you know about the new fashion honey?
All you need are looks and they'll get paid their money."
Replay, no way, who cares, anyway?
It's still Flick and Joel to me

Everybody's talkin' 'bout this plot line
Funny, but it's still Flick and Joel to me