-> "Ring Goes Into the Fire"
Original Song Title:
"We Didn't Star the Fire" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Ring Goes Into the Fire"
[artist: Rilly Olde]
[I: Fellowship of the Ring]
Lady narrates, clues us in: rings, elves and dwarves and men.
Big bad Sauron has a Master Ring to rule them all.
Good and evil - battling. The Villain takes out Papa King. “Yeah,
Anyone can change the course; don’t matter if they’re small.”
Elrond tells new king, “Gotta end Power Ring!”
Takes it to mountain flame. He won’t chuck it. What a shame.
Prince gets arrows in back. Ring is lost, and that’s that.
Little hand pops on the screen, and grabs the ring. Now it’s back!
Ring goes into the fire. ’Sildur wouldn’t do it. Guess he kinda blew it.
Ring goes into the fire. ’Cause he wanted power, now there’s twelve more hours!
Gandalf visits hobbit town. Birthday Eleventy-One.
Uncle Bilbo disappears. The ring’s left behind.
Frodo and his crew hit a tavern, drink brew.
Meet a Ranger - shifts their paradigm.
Nazgul. Black robes. Dudes that glide on ash 'n' smoke.
Find the five at Weather-top. Clear out when it gets too hot.
Horse-flood. Wraiths in mud. Poison in the ‘bearer’s blood.
Wakes up in Pixie-ville. Four more join the Ring Guild!
Ring goes into the fire. Now they’re nine courageous on a quest audacious.
Ring goes into the fire. Such a motley posse. Mood’s a little frosty!
Avalanche. Khazad-Tomb. Massive Balrog: “Whip O’ Dûm”.
Mage falls, so they run on to Lothlorien!
Frodo splits, paddles off. Sam goes in, is hob-washed!
Proud warrior stands his ground. Giant arrows take him down!
[II: The Two Towers]
Hobbit heroes press on with just their carry-on.
Close behind, Gol-lum wants his “Precious” from them.
Meanwhile, trackers three search for two who met a tree.
Forest buddies take down “Franken-wizard”s playground!
Search party led by Strider braves the Fangorn Forest; calls off Gandalf’s florist.
Rohan is under fire. Uruk-hai are winning. Gandalf sends ’em spinning!
Gollum strikes, gets caught. Frodo shares a quick thought:
Let him guide them to their destination.
Gollum A and Gollum B talk it out, but can’t agree.
Black Gate. Dead swamp. Faramir. Now they’re off!
[III: Return of the King]
Smeagol’s hist’ry - So much for that mystery!
They move out. Fishy route. Can’t trust that one, ain’t a doubt!
Gollum gets Samwise fired. Lures the loopy Frodo to a trap arach-no.
Brave Sammy shanks the spider. Now the mighty Shelob is a spidey-kebob!
Pippin’s got bowling ball: “EYE CAN SEE YOU!! WHERE Y’ALL?!!”
Strider says “Hey! Here I am! Let’s play!”
“Son died. I’m fried!” –Denethor. Elrond forges broke sword.
Trio enters Paths of Dead. Opaque green guys, shred ahead!
Back-up band takes action by causing a distraction while
Little guys in disguise pass by Eerie Eye.
Just when hope seems all but gone, war appears it can’t be won,
Gollum gnaws. A digit falls. Ring’s in meltdown. Cue applause!
Ring went into the fire, right along with Gollum. “Precious” made him fall in.
Ring went into the fire. Movie should be done.
Ending still goes on…and on…and on…and on…
And on…and on…and on…and on…and on.
Ring went into the fire. Frodo’s friends surround him. Aragorn is crowned king.
Ring went into the fire. White-ship takes both Baggins’.
Sam is home. And “The Ends”!
We should be really tired, ’cause the matinee went on for half a day, but
We’re still a little wired, so back in we’re goin’ - watch another showin’.
We’re viewin’ the entire trilogy extended, properly amended.
Once more into the Shire. Worth another look. Don’t wanna read the book, no!
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|How Funny: ||4.5|
|Overall Rating: ||4.5|
|Total Votes: ||10|
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