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Song Parodies -> "Ex-Wife"

Original Song Title:

"My Life"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"Ex-Wife"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl

The Lyrics

Sort of semi-biographical. Well, perhaps a tad more than semi... ;)
Never been in a fight,
But last night I came real close.
Had to shoot off your mouth,
Had to have your big say.
No excuse you can use,
You’re just dumb as a bedpost.
So we flipped you the bird
As we both drove away.

No one cares what you say anymore,
You’re his ex-wife
Set him free, c’est la vie,
Now it’s time to go home.
Got the house, got the car,
Got the freedom you wanted.
Go ahead with your new life,
Leave us alone.

I’ve never said, “Medusa called—she wants her hairdo back.”
(I’m thinking “Phyllis Diller”…)
I never said you were a hippo in yoga slacks.
(It was a wart hog.)
We all agree-
It’s not just me-
That you could be the Missing Link of Darwin’s.

Friends should tell you
You dress like a floozy in Vegas.
And your makeup’s as thick as the tar in La Brea.
Think you’re glam, don’t you ma’am,
But you’re Barbie on steroids.
Even scared little Marilyn Manson away.

Must’ve been a big blow
To find nobody missed you.
Didn’t come all undone like you thought that he would.
No one likes you, it’s true
You’re a shrew
And neurotic.
Even Jesus himself would’ve left you for good.

(Musical interlude)


I never said your brain is smaller than a black-eyed pea.
(It’s smaller than a dust speck.)
Or that your mother should’ve had a hysterectomy…
(I’ll bet she wishes!)
I’m not as mean
As it may seem.
Although I dream of things I’d LOVE to tell you!

No one cares what you say anymore,
You’re his ex-wife.
And a sad little low-life--
Leave us alone!

(Just remember you’re the EX-wife)
(Just remember you’re the EX-wife)

(fade out)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   12
 12
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Extremely funny...with lots of snappy comeback lines....top notch parody
blackjack21 - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Very good work, Fiddlegirl. Looking forward to more from you. Flippin' three 5s at ya.
Old Man Ribber - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
In the settlement, you get the fives - all three of them! ;D Outrageously funny! BTW, don't blame my new wife and I for the ruined laundry - "We Didn't Start The Dryer!"
unKnownVotress - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Now, wartHogs can be very cute, Sir !
L.D. Obblo - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
What a wicked way with words! Excellent!
Christie Marie M - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Out with the old...in with the new, they say! I echo AFW's comment! That ex-wife sure got kicked to the curb! Clever change of the OS title! 5's!
Mark Scotti - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Funny as hell, perfect pace. Settlement gives you 555
Fiddlegirl - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Many thanks, everyone, for your kind words. And for finding my husband's ex far more amusing than I usually do! ;)
Michael Pacholek - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
She had to be a big shot, didn't she? So why'd they split? Did he find out she was an XXX-wife, if ya know what I mean?
alvin - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
this is hilarious...especially the parts about medusa and a hippo in yoga slacks....my fave of the dayt
Andy Primus - July 08, 2009 - Report this comment
I second Alvin's comment
Fiddlegirl - July 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Alvin and Andy. And Michael P.- you are so funny. Yes, as a matter of fact, "The Lady is a Tramp". ;)
Old Purina Cat Chow Commercial - August 20, 2009 - Report this comment
Meow, meow, meow, meow
Meow, meow, meow, meow
Meow, meow, meow, meow
Meow, meow, meow, meow

(which is feline for "great switch, inspired and funny write, and Don Ri-di-ckle-uo-s insults.".) Already sixteen meows up there, so will take one back to vote Fifteen.
FG @ Tom Cat - August 24, 2009 - Report this comment
"Morris" the pity we can't meet here more often! ;)
Kitty Literary - August 25, 2009 - Report this comment
Cat got *your* tongue? Never! ... You *do* realize that these threads could go on forever, right? ... although that would give you, like, 3000 hits per page, which would be some kind of record.

(You would have Rose to the top, but for Pete's sake, don't bet on it!)
the charm - June 20, 2012 - Report this comment
oh wow i LOVE it!!!!!!!!
Richard Morris - April 16, 2015 - Report this comment
Very well done

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