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Song Parodies -> "This Is Why You Are Fired"

Original Song Title:

"We Didn't Start the Fire"

Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"This Is Why You Are Fired"

Parody Written by:

Laurie Alexander

The Lyrics

Well, I pretty much last submitted a song exactly a year ago. Anyone remember me? If you're ever wondering what goes through an HR Manager's mind....
Very tardy, didn’t call, or email, that’s not all
Missed the meeting, broke the printer, lost the powerpoint

Fake documents, I-9 I.D., working papers, an H1-B
Tried bribery, some L-S-D, everything, you know.

Harassment, weapons, stupid things, it all depends
Lying, gross misconduct, fast asleep on the job

Playing hooky, lying, breaking the fax machine
Illegal trading, falsifying, It’s time to say goodbye

This is why you are fired
You were always lurking
When you should be working
Why were you even hired
No we couldn’t know it
But, you sure did blow it

Sharing secrets, inside trades, that’s a dumb mistake you made
Poor performance, abuse sick leave, ignoring SOX

Smoke pot, drunk again, don’t let this all start again
Sipping vodka with lime, falsely charging time

Horseplay, false claims, signing the big boss-s’ name
Pleading guilty, start a fight, vulgar language, this ain’t right

Sell drugs, break the rules, hitting others, quel fool
Transcript’s fake, credit’s bad, uh oh, we’ve all been had

This is why you are fired
You were always skpying
When you should be typing
Why were you even hired
No we couldn’t plan how
You’re forever banned now

You’re not nice, can’t say that, get out of here, don’t come back.
You’re caught, say oy vey, lying on your resume

Bring a gun, be real mean, you are the worst that we’ve seen
Yell at us, you’re a slime, worked unapproved overtime

Willful damage, fighting, steal supplies, frightening
Your gig is up, over, time to on COBRA

“F You” said to me, not the brightest strategy
Refuse to work, oh no, not your choice, you must go

This is why you are fired
You were always spying
When you should be trying
Why were you even hired
Now we’ll only see you
At the A-C-L-U

Solitaire played, email, yes, you know you have failed
Cheating, dress code, repay the money you owe

Contact inappropriate, come in my office and sit
Don’t talk, right now, or I will have a cow

At-will employment, is set by the government
1-2-3, right away, your employment ends today

This is why you are fired
You were always spamming
When you should be planning
Why were you even hired
No we didn't fight it
‘Cause it can’t be righted

Paid today, severance, then you do not get a cent
Leave now, good-bye, pack your desk, big sigh

New start, recruit, it’s now time, to place the job online
Ultimately it’s all good, we’re all in a better mood

H.R.’s tough. Yes it’s true. We do what we have to do
Make the rules. Recruit schools. Hire, fire, we’re no fools.
Diplomacy’s rule number one. When each and every day is done.
All day long I settle scores, I can't take it anymore

This is why you are fired
We are always careful
To cut right through the bull
Now that you’ve been fired
Thank G-d you are gone
Now we’ll get work done, more done, more done more done...
This is why you are fired
You were always drinking
Oh what were we thinking……..

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   4
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jeff Reuben - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Excellent job on a tough song! Probably the funniest song you've done on here :)
Matthias - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Brilliant idea and welcome back! I really enjoyed this one, like Jeff said very hard song to accomplish but you did it masterfully.
Phil Alexander - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Remember you? How could I forget such an ideal surname ;-)

Short on a few rhymes, but because it's this OS, I couldn't dock you anything for it - to get them all while still making sense is almost impossible. Good job :-)
MrMacphisto - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
The pacing was a little off, but other than that, great job! :)
Andrew D. Lacroix - December 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Straight 5's. I couldn't help but LMAO at this wonderful parody. Well done.
Olivia - January 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Hilarious!! Very clever and right on.
Claude Prez - January 12, 2009 - Report this comment
This is really good. Can I have a job?

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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