[CUSTOMERS, reading car ads on dealer lot]
Sherwood Mazda, sale today -- wait a few - months to pay
Honda Civic, credit limit, pimp out my Geo

Henry Curtis Ford and Lincoln, Navigator bling-o-vision
Brand new Kia, South Korean, Hyundai Elan-tra

Thunderbird, F-Bod...Firebird Firehawk
Suzuki Samurai, BMW X5

Brand new Mustang, dark green, inspired by Steve McQueen
Fancy Bimmer 7-Series, not equipped with "iDrive"

[CUSTOMERS]
We may be first-time buyers
Who don't know what we want
But let's see what you've got
We may be first-time buyers
But don't take advantage
..'Cause you'll hear some rantage

[SMILING SALESMAN, extolling the virtues of the "perfect car"]
Cadillackadaisical, pitch it for a better mill
Fuel-injected, wear-protected, alumi-num block

Touch-tone mobile phone, navigation, free roam
Crystalline "Bvlgari Europe"-designed clock

Air bags, chrome mags, wins at all the stoplight drags
Storage pockets, leather seats, lumbar support, cold and heat

Low front, hot rod rake, power steering, power brakes
Dash displays, wood inlays, too bad it all looks fake

[CUSTOMERS]
We want to kick the tires
We are still just shopping
Till the price is dropping
We want to kick the tires
Look how fast they're turning!
You smell something burning?

[SALESMAN, smile fading]
Folding seats - on a track, 60/40 row in back
TVs, DVD, new XBox 360

Dual exhaust, quick defrost, nav in case you get lost
Floor mats are thrown in free, 10 grand off this SUV

Euro-flavor mohair, space saver donut spare
Two-door coupes...they're hot, Edsel on the back lot

Z3, RX-8, most alphanumeric names
Toyo-ta A-valon, radar so you're not caught

[CUSTOMERS]
Why is it so much higher?
(That's) not the price you quoted
How'd it get so bloated?
Why is it so much higher?
Yes I'm sure it's nifty...
But it's not worth fifty!

[SALESMAN, turning red]
Six-CD dash stack, put stuff on the roof rack
Glove box, gas shocks, power windows and locks

Mirrors for your vanity, OnStar for your sanity
Low miles, auto-dim, carbon-fiber-look trim

Clear blue - xenon lights -- best for when you drive at night
Package tray, luggage bay, what else do I have to say?

[CUSTOMERS]
Hey mister, where's the fire?
Why are you so worried?
And in such a hurry?
Hey mister, where's the fire?
We shop at our leisure
Please don't have a seizure

[SALESMAN, veins bulging]
Auto trans, window tint, navigation once again
Moonroof, storage slots, warranty a-gainst rot

Bug de-flector, double stripes, air conditioned -- blows ice
Hybrid power -- running green, flashy chrome will get you seen

Never smoked in, never crashed, never broken, not a scratch
Title's clear, bought new here, won - Car - of the Year

Best of Consumer Reports, won acclaim in peace and war
Holds a bunch of two-by-fours, please don't make me list some more...

[CUSTOMERS]
We think that you're a liar
There's no car with all that
What you've said is all crap
We think that you're a liar
(But) We could help you move it
...If you take us to it

We didn't cause your ire
But when we have gone
Lead some sucker on, and on, and on, and on...