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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Get Good Lab Partners"

Original Song Title:

"We Didn't Start The Fire"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Billy Joel

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Get Good Lab Partners"

Parody Written by:

Starlette Victory

The Lyrics

I've been working on this extremely long parody since May; it's about my horrid luck with getting assigned lab partners. For some reason, I am the Bermuda Triangle of group projects, and I seem to attract every lunatic, sexist, racist, lazy-ass, motivationally-challenged, perverted, con-artist nitwit on Earth. It's as if I was born with a sign on my forehead that says, "I Like To Work With Losers." Honestly, the ones that aren't outright insane or stupid are either new kids who don't know what's going on, or normal kids who leave school or drop the class in the middle of the project. It sucks.
Very stupid, not awake, slacker boy, Airhead fake
Transfer student, whiny freshman, G.P.A. quite low.

Lies and cheats like Richard Nixon, addicted to television
Nauseating, female-hating, Won't go with the flow.

Emo kids, Potheads, spacy freaks, Minds like lead
Hearing (name here) and I, always makes me want to die

Doesn't shower, just mean, Bitchy diva glam queen
Suicidal, control-issues, dropping-this-class, goodbye!

I can't get good lab partners
Always out of luck because
Mine always suck, well
I can't get good lab partners
Though I try to fight it
I am always blighted

Right-wing-nut-jobs, just insane, working with them is a pain
Disaster never varies but, always a shock

Tough cons, hangers-on, total assholes, Brains gone
One who was called "Spazz Around the Clock"

Shrill whine, unclean, Simply makes me wanna scream
When there's a project on hand, Spends the week in La-La Land

Redneck, just a pest, Catatonic, at best
In my face, out-of-place, Can't I just work alone?!

I can't get good lab partners
Always out of luck because
Mine always suck, well
I can't get good lab partners
Though I try to fight it
I am always blighted

Mindless jock, clumsy twit, lazy bastard, full of shit
Spastic, She-Who-Cries, Teller of Thousand Lies

Babbles on, Brains-in-balls, like talking to a wall
Makes me crave homicide, wants to play with dynamite!
Bizzare follies, failure, Breath funky, perverted
Puttering, and slow, working is a no-go

Hates life, or loathes me, bullying and thievery
Outright violent, Psycho, Mind soft like pastry dough!

I can't get good lab partners
Always out of luck because
Mine always suck, well
I can't get good lab partners
Though I try to fight it
I am always blighted

In the way, sweat-hands, Impossible demands
Freshmen, again, Karmic retribution

Partner of insane-ia, Depression, then Mania
This sucks, can't win, facing constant chagrin

Hopeless, Cowboy Tex, wants to take me home for sex
Skips nine days, goes away, then has nothing more to say!

I can't get good lab partners
Always out of luck because
Mine always suck, well
I can't get good lab partners
Though I try to fight it
I am always blighted

Thought-patrol, hates all men, Richard Nixon's clone again
Slack-off, B.O., Bart Simpson, Jim Crow
Drunken, Flunkin', arrest nine, Obsessed with her hairline
Wants to put books back on bans, Wants a shotgun in his hand

Manners-challenged, Charlie Brown, botched a project, gloomy frown
Sneaky cats, sleazy rats, jerks, snobs, Fascist prats
Sophomoric minds impure, One more year of this, I'm sure
Lab Partner Gods, this means war, I can't take it anymore!

I can't get good lab partners
Always out of luck because
Mine always suck, well
I can't get good lab partners
Though I try to fight it
I am always blighted

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   12
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Paul Robinson - July 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Hysterical, Starlette V., bet you can't wait to get out of school so you can...end up working with the same idiots...5's ~ ~ ~
Starlette Victory - July 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I definitely can't wait to get out of school...lol, my luck with group projects is always terrible, i seem to get the bottom-of-the-barrel, and this is at a school for smart kids....can't imagine what a normal school would be like...i'd probably end up getting arrested for lab-partner-icide.
Cat - July 30, 2005 - Report this comment
THIS IS BRILLIANT!!! I feel your pain. I have been afflicted with the same condition many a time. And on a side note, it was amusing since I take pride in knowing all the lyrics to "We Didn't Start The Fire." =D
Starlette Victory - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Ah, and the English group gods hate me too...
Snake - October 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Brings back old memories........
Ian Sherman - March 25, 2007 - Report this comment
This reminds of my chemistry labs during my HS junior year. One student I was unlucky to get partnered up with was Mazhin Bego. She wouldn't listen to reason, and kept asking stupid questions to me that didn't even have anything to do with the lab. You sure the meet the NUTS in this business!
none of your nose - February 19, 2008 - Report this comment
u fagget dnt you have a life , u faggety fairy, buttmunching VAGI!!! dnt ever disrespect my sister!
LadyCupCakes - February 19, 2008 - Report this comment
555 for a really good parody on ~Lab work~ and i don't mean the canine variety!! Don't give up . . . I worked with a Cowboy once in the computerLab; we made beautiful music together there, until . . . well it was sweet.

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