Friday night, she started nursin'
Saturday, sex life's uncertain
Sunday came, my luck ran out again
I was hoping for some fun
She was hurting from my son
And so I employed the weak hand, for a change

We fought, she said, "Don't use that tone!"
I sat through CSI alone
And I told myself, "A cycle, pure and plain."
"Keep on hold, the old sex drive."
And "Try not to feel deprived."
But I wonder how much more I can restrain

The baby bites
The baby chews "em
Yeah, it just may be too soon to lick, they're looking sore
Hey, it ain't right
I wanna use "em
Don't know how long I'll have to go
"Cause the baby bites

For nine months, at TV, I've stared
Alone in my reclining chair
She'd said, "No dirty thoughts now, for a while."
Oh, but honey, I'm a man
And I've done the best I can
But the demon boy's starting to get me riled

Last night again, she let him suckle
Bit so hard, made her knees buckle
Kid could put a pit bull dog to shame
And he leaves her black and blue
It's a sin, what gums can do
Luckily, he has no teeth or, she'd be maimed

The baby bites
He ain't just grazin'
But a bottle may make junior sick, no formula
No teeth in sight
But that don't phase him
It's been so long, she just says no
"Cause the baby bites

The baby bites
The baby chews "em
Yeah, I've got to get some poon and quick, can't wait no more
Hey, it ain't right
Why does he bruise "em
Don't know how long I'll have to go
"Cause the baby bites

Leave "em alone "cause the baby bites
I can't get none "cause the baby bites
Leave "em alone "cause the baby bites
I can't get none "cause the baby bites