Squirrels - Do I really need these squirrels?
Out in the front yard there's squirrels
And in the back yard there's squirrels

I hate the way that they gnaw
And it's shrill to hear their talk
Now they've really drive me wild
At my humble domicile

Back in the day...
There was this squirrel who liked to play
He bit my phone cord by mistake
I tried to feed him poisoned bait
He didn't eat - and ran away
He lived to pull another prank
If he weren't fast - I would give chase
We had a show down at my place

I hoped and prayed...
My cat or hawks would find him prey
I'd had enough - and went to slay
So I broke out with my A.K. [47]
I thought I'd waste him with its spray
That was two years ago I'd say
I seen him just the other day
Mocking at me to my disgrace

Squirrels - they chew my fences
Squirrels - they eat my bird's food
Squirrels - they soil the laundry (climbing my clothesline)
Squirrels - and eat the dog's food
Squirrels - do I really need these squirrels?
Who has the time - for these squirrels?

I'm goin' to rip out my [hair] Squirrels! Squirrels! Squirrels! Squirrels! Squirrels!