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Song Parodies -> "Samson's Tears (Act I)"

Original Song Title:

"Paul Revere"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Beastie Boys

Parody Song Title:

"Samson's Tears (Act I)"

Parody Written by:

Lionel Mertens

The Lyrics




Now here’s a bible story I love to share
Of a headstrong Hebrew with lots of hair
Turn with me now to Judges 13
To a time, and a place, when life... was mean
God sent the Philistines for forty years
Cause Israel did evil - so they battled fierce
Fighting across the lands, raiding in bands
Israel cities were assailed and they lost command
One heart sick lady endures
So very long with no child hers
But never giving up, on her dreams so fast
The angel of the Lord... would appear at last
Told she’d have a son. - She went and told her guy
Whose name is Manoah, he said ‘tell me!’, she complied


She... told about the angel and his heart filled with mirth
Promised with a son - raised a Nazarite from birth
The news was good to have, but he was still concerned
He questioned more - He questioned why and the messenger returned
He asked his name in full
He heard, ‘it’s wonderful?’
So next thing he did
He sacrificed a kid (baby goat)
It was burnt on a rock - The two looking on
The angel went through the flames and - VOILA! - he was gone

[Judges 14]

So they raised up Samson straight, - He had a penchant to kill
He met himself a pretty miss - a fine kismet thrill
Now a conflict would appear his parents were in tears
They weren’t inclined, to Philistines, and made themselves clear
They talked to him at length - he liked her looks - she liked his strength
He won his parents over, and the wedding was arranged















Now... he ran at once - to share the news
He had permission and the right choose
She was a lovely vision of rare beauty
And just blew him away with personality
He went to say ‘I do" when he heard the roar of a lion
The spirit fell on him - becoming strong as a giant
He hit it with fists - he bloodied his hands
He tore it with a-drenaline glands
Now... on his way back - He took a side track
And come to find out - the lion switched his act
The cat he offed - was buzzing strange
So he ate the sweet stuff where the lion had changed



He... told his best pals - when they held a bash
Decipher this riddle for some new haberdash
A week was given and the saying proved hard
So they sent her nasty threats - catching him off his guard
Samson’s wife cried, "Oh, won’t you tell me it
He stayed - stone silent - till she threw a fit
Samson said, "I’m tired, of your mouth running!
I love you my dear and I’m a fool for your cunning"
Pressed for the riddle and moved by her cries
He said, "I give up!" and rolled his eyes
That was it, for she had pressed him sore
He put his big fist through the kitchen door
She pre-vailed and he spilt-da-beans
Their brash skullduggery would make him come clean
Samson’s wife would kibitz - and brought disgrace
When she blabbed it to her people and they told it to his face
His bravado fizzled out - the riddle flopped
His girl had finked - ‘cause he had copped
Now he needed clothing - thirty men would he mug
He left his honey lion like a rug

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