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Song Parodies -> "Replacement Baseball"

Original Song Title:

"The Point of No Return (from The Phantom of the Opera)"

Original Performer:

Andrew Lloyd Webber (Crawford/Brightman)

Parody Song Title:

"Replacement Baseball"

Parody Written by:

D Pietras

The Lyrics

The whale-obsessed boy from the "Free Willy" series faces a predicament: Willy (or, his mechanical double) has been trapped by an oil spill that has ignited! Some of you may remember the movie. He insanely laments this predicament to his crush, using another seemingly hopeless metaphor - the state of Major League Baseball during the 1994-95 offseason! In case you're wondering, this was written THEN - but NOW this website exists. Hahahahaha!!!
JESSE:
You have come here,
in pursuit of my long-lost whale,
in pursuit of a whale,
whom the o-il has silenced, silenced...
You have come here,
that you finally may bow, and hail!
In my mind, now my Willy is free -
not trapped there in the oil -
but happy and free,
and now you are here with me:
No second thoughts,
here's a story, a story...

Past the point of no return -
Computer baseball:
a game which, until now, was lots of fun.
Past the point of no return -
no time for bargains.
Abandon thought, pick up your BB gun:

Because Dick Ravitch and Don Fehr
have blown the season out their ear,
that doesn't mean the game cannot live!

Past the point of no return -
no pity for baseball.
Computerized World Series can they earn
beyond the point of no return.

NADINE
You have brought me
to a place where the ocean's dry,
to a place where the water dissolves
into oil and darkness.
I have come here,
hardly knowing the reason why!
In my mind, I've already imagined
poor Willy deformed, duly drowned, and decrepit,
yet now I am here with you:
no second thoughts,
here's your story, your story!

Past the point of no return -
Replacement baseball:
The players are gone? We'll get some in their place!
Past the point of no return -
Replacement baseball:
The streak is o'er, the game will fall from grace!

Because Dick Ravitch and Don Fehr
have blown the season out their ear,
the game may never quite recover!

BOTH
Past the point of no return -
no pity for baseball!
The game is gone, so stand and watch it burn.
We've passed the point of no return.
Copyright 1996, 2001, 2004

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Pacing: 5.0
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Total Votes: 1

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

DP - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
For other parodies by this author, please search "D. Pietras". I now realize it matters whether you type the period or not!
jmndlbm - August 29, 2004 - Report this comment
freak u need 2 get laid

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