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Song Parodies -> "Genital Pains"

Original Song Title:

"Jellicle Cats"

Original Performer:

Andrew Lloyd Webber - Cats

Parody Song Title:

"Genital Pains"

Parody Written by:

Will Agrudis Glover

The Lyrics

WARNING!!Not for young children!(Don't worry, though, no refferences to sex)!
Does it hurt when you're born? Can you take in the pain?
Would you do it again? Would you risk getting it all?
Can you say that it so kills, that there's nothing to gain?
Does your cock give you pain when you're hit in the balls?

Because genitals hurt in the way that they do
Genitals do and genitals would
Genitals would and genitals can
Genitals can and genitals do

When you fall on a bar, do you land screaming "OOOH!"?
Are you tense when you sense there's a pain in your crotch?
Do you think you go blind when you're hit down below?
Do you know why it hurts your nether regions a lot?

Because genitals can and genitals do
Genitals do and genitals can
Genitals can and genitals do
Genitals do and genitals can
Genitals can and genitals do

When you're feeling the pain do some sounds seem far distant?
Familiar with itches, with aches and with pains?
When the weelington hits your private parts, it's instant!
It's like bein' an alumnus of darkness of hell!

Genital pains for genital parts
Genital pains for genital parts
Genital pains for genital parts
Genital pains for genital parts

You will fly through the air like a flying trapeze
You will then double over and scream agony
You will fall on the floor, and let out a small wheeze
Your voice will go up high, you will feel less manny

Genitals can and genitals do
Genitals can and genitals do
Genitals can and genitals do
Genitals can and genitals do

Genital pains for genital parts
Genital pains for genital parts
Genital pains for genital parts
Genital pains for genitle parts

You will sing at the same time in more than one key
Duets by Rossini and waltzes by Strauss
And then you (as I did) moan in agony
Then you run red-faced, red-faced back to your house

Genital pains are king of all pains
Screaming at astronomical strains
Handling pieces which ache and are scorn
Flailing around like a fish on the floor

The loss of masculinity is of ashamed dignity
Round the room you will scream "that hurt!"
Being hit underneath the shirt!

Hurting, aching, I swear it's true
To others who do what . . .

Genitals do and genitals can
Genitals can and genitals do
Genital pains in genital parts
Genital parts and genitals do
Genitals hurt and genitals dance

Genitals hurt for genitals do
Genitals hurt for genitals do
Genitals hurt for genitals do
Genitals hurt for genitals do

Pain in your balls, done in the balls
Kicked in the balls, flat on the balls
Karate on your balls, direct hit on your balls
Shut on the balls, dispatching your balls
Running kick on the balls, pains in your balls
Crying over balls, paralyzed in the balls
All the hurt of your balls, mastered pain in your balls
The testecles bawl and your voice will go small
The pain in your balls, hurting more than your balls
Clear hit on the balls, history of the balls
Clinics on your balls, rambling 'bout your balls

Genital pains for genital parts
Genital hell that genitals hate
Genitals sharp pain, genital starts
Genital hurt that genitals hate

Genital pains for gential parts
Genital pains for gential parts
Genital pains for gential parts
Genital pains for gential parts

There's a man over there with a look of surprise,
As much as to say, "Well now how about that!
Do I actually see with my own very eyes
A man who's been hit in the crotch with a bat?"
What a genital pain! What a genital pain!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   2
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kim West - January 22, 2005 - Report this comment
They say an artist must suffer for their art. I hope that was not the case with this particular song you wrote Will. Even though there was much pain in the song, I feel I must give 5,5,5 to you. Perhaps that will give some relieve to those poor precious jewels. ~.^
psyco201t - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL good one Do I actually see an increase in the number of broadway parodies?
Anthony - October 19, 2007 - Report this comment
hahahahahhaaa

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