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Song Parodies -> "Bernie Ecclestone"

Original Song Title:

"Master of the House"

Original Performer:

Andrew Lloyd Webber

Parody Song Title:

"Bernie Ecclestone"

Parody Written by:

Airrider

The Lyrics

These days I kind of imagine this is must what must happen during FIA meetings these days...
(Bernie)
My boob tube dorks
My couch potato chips
My barr'l o'pork
My viewer base of twits!
My petrolheads
Spent their lives all tuned in
Homing pigeons homing in
Then roost on my wire
O'er these double points and tires

Grab that remote
Sit yourself down
And watch this circus
Roll into town
As for the rest
None of 'em deft
Cling to V8s
Or just turning left
Seldom do you see
High society
Directed by a gent
Whose identity's...

Bernie Ecclestone
And his pretty cars
Ready to parade them
For a couple hours
Pinnacle of sport
Rules change every year
Engine specs and DRS, how many gears
Anyone can win a season
Overtaking adds the spice
And venues you don't care for
Everything has got a little price!

Bernie Ecclestone
Ringmaster supreme
Just like rowing boats and life
It's all a dream
Gimmicks out the gills
Never mind the cost
Turbos and transmissions
All so Red Bull's lost
NBC Sports for the Yankees
Speed has never been my friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!

Bernie Ecclestone
So progressive, lads!
This track brings the purists back
Now you've been had!
Hybrids for the kids
Turbos for the farts
Old and new, what can I do,
But call it art?
They say you can't please all people
They say you won't get your way

But what a crock of shit, right?
Oh, Christ! It's my game and you just play!

Pay for a seat
Pay for the show
Pay us some more
If not, you can blow
Cov'rage galore
Cable? What's that?
Let's get you fit
That wallet's too fat
Here's some brand-new wings
Here's some brand-new tracks
Now all that's arranged
Let's get to brass tacks

See all of the world
Each exotic place
Have they got an int'rest?
No? Give them a race!
Let's go to Yeongam
Now we're in Dubai
Double points and night races
No reason why

Less commercial interruptions?
How about a Pay-Per-View?
Mastercard or Visa
Worked for McMahon, it'll work here too!
Sprinklers on the track
Tires cold as ice
Anything to stop the same guy winning twice
Keep the DRS
Pump the KERS way up
Don't like all the changes, why don't you shut up?
I'm the one here who's progressive
You're all the old-fashioned fools
All the teams that feed us
Build those bits and pieces
Jesus! It's so fun to change the rules!

Bernie Ecclestone
Ringmaster supreme
Just like rowing boats and life
It's all a dream
Gimmicks out the gills
Never mind the cost
Step nose? How 'bout low nose?
Beauty's last year, boss!
Who cares about the backmarkers?
What coverage can they get me?

They're all like Ferrari
Mamma mia! Prima donnas! Geez!

(F1 fan)
I used to think
That F1 does no wrong
But God Almighty,
Have we both heard the same song?

(Bernie)
Bernie Ecclestone!

(F1 fan)
Mosley's bosom bud!
'Old and new, what can I do?'
-not be a dud?

(Bernie)
Cunning little brain
Just like Donald Trump

(F1 fan)
Thinks he's god of racing
But he's just a chump
Regs more like a straitjacket
Bribery to grease the gears
God knows how much I'm pissed
Watching him do all this o'er the years!

(Bernie)
Bernie Ecclestone!
Once the Brabham king!

(F1 fan)
'Let's all go to Yeongam!'
Not Korea's thing!

(Bernie)
Hybrids for the kids
Turbos for the farts

(F1 fan)
Melty cheese for tires
Says the loud, wet, shart!

(Bernie)
May I reign throughout the cent'ry!
Never may I leave my throne!
Everybody be my fan

(F1 fan)
Let's all kick him in the can!

(Bernie)
Everyone say I'm the man, I'm ol' Bernie Ecclestone!
I'm done with Formula One. I'm going to watch the World Endurance Championship from now on...

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