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Song Parodies -> "No Firewall (The Spyware Blues)"

Original Song Title:

"All Cried Out"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Alison Moyet

Parody Song Title:

"No Firewall (The Spyware Blues)"

Parody Written by:

Heathcliff the Cat

The Lyrics

NOTE - If you're reading this along with the song, the word "tutorial" comes out as "tutor-ree-al", and the word "laptop" is stunted to sound like "lap - top". Any questions, chuck 'em at me. :)
I took the dare
Upon my hardware
I'm sad to say this ends in hell
I'm a newbie
Beyond compare
Don't know my scripts from my HTML
I know all the risks
Of the world wide web
Don't want no tutorial guide
But maybe - I'm being slightly clueless
Ain't got no antivirus
And now the gits have got inside

No firewall
I ain't got no spyware trackers, just a haven for hackers
No firewall
It's hard to go a-surfing when your mass-infected browser crashes down

I don't feel surprised, or break down and cry
Whenever my laptop's a tool
Switch - OFF! Let it reboot
Procedure ain't my strong suit
No patience left to follow rules

No firewall
I ain't got no spyware trackers, just a haven for hackers
No firewall
It's hard to go a-surfing with a mass-infected browser!
No firewall
I ain't got no spyware trackers!
No firewall
It's hard to go a-surfing when your mass-infected browser crashes down

In the morning
Ain't no doubt
I'll go buy new hardware
Throw the old dud out

No firewall
I ain't got no spyware trackers, just a haven for hackers
No firewall
It's hard to go a-surfing with a mass-infected browser!
No firewall
I ain't got no spyware trackers!
No firewall
It's hard to go a-surfing when your mass-infected browser crashes down

(repeat to fade)
This delightful mockery was brought to you by Heathcliff the Cat. All complaints should be directed and forwarded therein. Thank you!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Tim Mayfield - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
If you're going to surf without antivirus, make sure you don't have a modem.
2:49 AM - April 28, 2007 - Report this comment
I haven't a clue how the original song goess (nor have I heard of the performer) but I like this song. Maybe I should stop living under a rock.

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