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Song Parodies -> "Making Beer Out Of Nothing But Malt"

Original Song Title:

"Making Love Out Of Nothing At All"

Original Performer:

Air Supply

Parody Song Title:

"Making Beer Out Of Nothing But Malt"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

A dedication from me to the faster chuggers, Jelly/Donnie/Matt. And a special thanks to Flash for his help with my research.
I know just how to tailgate
And I know to bend my knees
I know to push the flow restrictor
And I know how deep to breathe
I know just how to tilt it
And I know just how to squeeze
I know just when to pour it down
And I know just when to heave

And I know when the can hits my lips
That the watch will start on cue
But I know when the beer is finished
That my time will be slow to you
And I know my seed is fading
And I know the temperature's right
And I'm never gonna swallow
All the beer I gotta swallow
But I know I gotta give it a try!

And I know to burp when finished
And I know to throw the can
I know all my limits
And I know that I'll break them
But I always make it into the game

But I don't know how to beat you
I can't open up my throat
And I don't know how you do it
Making beer out of nothing but malt

(Making beer) Out of nothing but malt
(Making beer) Out of nothing but malt

Out of nothing but malt (Making beer)
Out of nothing but malt (Making beer)
Out of nothing but malt (Making beer)
Out of nothing but malt

Everytime I chug I feel an ocean of backwash
Streaming down the sides of my face
If over half of my Light is dripping into my eyes
Then it's not right

The chugging of a beer is a waterfall
And it's flowing like a river in you
You can find a Beast can in a cooler of Lite
You pour and then in just five seconds it's out of sight

I've gotta swallow it, cause every football game
I'll keep drinking till I get up and spew!

I can make it to the dumpster
I can make the final glug
And I can eat every hot dog that comes off of the gas grill
I can make other tailgaters chug
I can nurse my beer forever
Or I can make it disappear like a bong
And I can scarf down all the Krispy Kremes and chips that we bring
And I can make all your Beast Light be gone!

But I'm never gonna drink it like you do
Do you really want to see me hurl?
And I'm never gonna make it like you do
Making beer out of nothing but malt

(Making beer) Out of nothing but malt
(Making beer) Out of nothing but malt

Out of nothing but malt (Making beer)
Out of nothing but malt (Making beer)
Out of nothing but malt (Making beer)
Out of nothing but malt...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - February 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) It's an acquired taste...
Matthias - February 15, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) I think you need to be a Tailgater to really get into this parody, but I still enjoy a good beer, and a good beer parody.
bobpiecheese - February 17, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4) I got a bit lost to what this one was about. Is it about the manufacture of beer out of malt? Is it about beer in general? Or is it a Tailgater parody - whatever that is - as Matthias suggested? Whatever it may be, you mentioned Krispy Kremes, so you got that going for you. Which is nice.
John Jenkins - February 17, 2008 - Report this comment
Very good title and very good ode to the frivolity of college days.
Red Ant - February 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4-M) The verses were awesome, with tons of good suds-titutions. I thought the chorus was a bit off with the rest of the parody meaning-wise, but taking an overblown love song and turning it into something manly deserves much respect... and a toast of 5s. =)
Guy - February 19, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC-M) Once you get the concept down that alcohol can only be rented and not owned you will then be ready to accept anything that happens after you drink it. This flowed really well like a well poured draft. And I'll drink to this parody anytime. What a great drinking song you came up with. We should have a comp on songs about alcohol that could be made into drinking songs. This would be a great concept. 5 pints to go.
stuart mcarthur - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABCM) there's a lot of stuff you seem to know, Jeff, including how to parody this sorry OS - and definitely how to appreciate a beer - 555
Below Average Dave - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) Well, this was certainly unexpected:) I'm not a big fan of the OS, but I am a fan of the topic and idea. You did great with the word play, and I think it'd make an interesting recording.
Invisible Boy - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
And I know what it's like to tailgate...and I know what it's like to chug...We used to "shoot" beers. You open a hole in in the bottom of the can with a can opener, put the hole up to your mouth, pop the top, and suck it down in like 3 seconds. I'm glad I lived to tell about it. I think that's what you are talking about here. Good job.
Mikey Squirrel - February 20, 2008 - Report this comment
ABC- I see we both picked the same OS for this round.. Air Supply of all things. Yours is very funny and drunkingly good!

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