Checked out swell, but feel like I'm in hell,
Think I ate a rancid toad
Swallowin' down what I found on the ground
Yes, I am eating off of the road
Feral Kitty always tastes so pretty
Now my upset stomach's passed
Slow down ulcers, want to stay alive,
Lest I should meet my maker fast

Food scraps, rubbish, sick I feels,
Ain't nobody else gonna serve me Sauteed eels
Grease traps, old fish, ill I feels,
And bacteria's gonna make me sway.....

Dumpsters down by the swimming pool,
Where the bums and tramps abound,
Fought ugly Sam for Green Eggs and Ham
His body never will be found
Drinking wine and sucking turpentine
I don't have a single friend,
Got bad breath, my teeth are falling out
Will never have me sex again

Food scraps, rubbish, crook I feels,
Ain't nobody else gonna serve me Sauteed eels
Grease traps, old fish, Meals On Wheels,
The bacteria's gonna take me away