We're so sorry Uncle Albert
We're so sorry if we caused you any pain
We're so sorry Uncle Albert
But there's no one left in America
Who believes you really won

We're so sorry but we haven't found a vote all day
We're so sorry Uncle Albert
But if anything should happen we'll be sure to call a judge

We're so sorry Uncle Albert
But we haven't found a hanging chad all day
We're so sorry Uncle Albert
But you and Whiney Joe should just really go away

Head across the water, water
Head across the sea
Or head on back home now, home now
Head for Tennessee

General Schwarzkopf notified me
Many in the service couldn't vote by absentee
They didn't notice that but they raised a big old stink
O'er a butterfly - a butterfly?
(The total wasn't right so they blamed the butterfly)

Head across the water, water
Head across the sea
Go to Minnesota
They don't want you in Tennessee!

Come on Al, don't be a whiner, get on out (get on out)
Get your feet back on the ground
Little Albert, get on out
Come on Albert, be a trooper, get on out (get on out)
Get your tail out of the Dick's house
Little Albert, get on out

Head across the water, water
Head across the sea
Head most anywhere --
Far away from me!