Farmers, there’s no need to bend down.
I said, farmers, don’t plant seeds in the ground.
I said, farmers, super fortunes abound,
There’s no need to be un-wealthy.

Farmers, there’s a place you can go,
I said, farmers, if you want lots of dough,
There are clerks there, and they will let you know
Many ways to build your cash flow.

It’s fun to exploit the USDA,
It’s fun to exploit the USDA.
There are big subsidies for you all to receive;
All your dreams can now be achieved.

It’s fun to live off the USDA,
It’s fun to live off the USDA.
You can make yourself rich,
You can do what you want,
You can buy Utah or Vermont.

Farmers, you can even be dead,
Cash checks and give thanks to Great Uncle Fred.
Bureaucrats don’t care if he is alive.
Think big when the next check arrives

That’s when you should buy a new yacht
And say “Congress, are you ready or not
To increase funds for the USDA?
If not, we’ll send you on your way.”

So please be good to the USDA,
Yes, please be good to the USDA.
There are so many ways for life to be enjoyed,
Farmers need big cars and new toys.

Scottie Pippen loves the USDA,
Rockefellers love the USDA.
It’s a bottomless pit
From which you can withdraw,
And you’re not breaking any law.

Congress, do you hear what they say?
They say, farmers vote on election day.
They say, Congress, in your seats you can stay,
But you’ve got to know this one thing:

Farmers have political clout
Don’t oppose them or they will vote you out!
If you stop funding the USDA
Your next campaign is DOA.

This is OK,
Taxpayers pay,
We get our way,
USDA!