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Song Parodies -> "Whiskey In The Cargo"

Original Song Title:

"Whiskey In The Jar"

Original Performer:

Thin Lizzy

Parody Song Title:

"Whiskey In The Cargo"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

As I was drivin’ over…the pass up through the mountains
I saw caps in snow an’…although sunny, it was dauntin’
A bang, then seized up pistons…oh heck, the van was smokin’
I thought, “Can’t open my windows”…they were stuck an’ I was chokin’

Mutterin’, “Shoulda bought Japanese”
Crap on the radio…crap on the radio
There’s whiskey in the cargo

I took out all my money…but it was a single penny
I thought that this ain’t funny…for I need to find a payphone
I swore that I’d leave it…never would I touch it
But I had to take that whiskey…an’ you know I drank it easy

Mutterin’, “Hope I don’t get the sack”
Crap on the radio…crap on the radio
There’s whiskey in the cargo

Bein’ drunk an’ cheery…I went to find that payphone
Phonin’ the operator…so she’d put me through to breakdown
By about six or, maybe, seven…I’d drunk half a barrel
I slumped down; tired of the waiting…I was singin’ Christmas carols

Mutterin’, “I could do with some more”
Crap on the radio…crap on the radio
There’s whiskey in the cargo

Now, some men like the rum in…an’ some men like the wine in
An’ some men like to hear…a can of ale a-pourin’
But, me, I like whiskey…’specially if it’s like this freebie
So, here I am, I’m legless…here I am with a juiced up brain, yeah

Mutterin’, “I could do with a pee”
Crap on the radio…crap on the radio
There’s whiskey in the cargo

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Meriadoc - August 03, 2012 - Report this comment
Loved this Andy - a delightful little saga. My pick of the day!

Hmmm... security code says to SW(ig)9 !
John Barry - August 03, 2012 - Report this comment
I like your whiskey whimsy.
Peregrin - August 03, 2012 - Report this comment
Good stuff Andy, great tale to an equally great tune. Very enjoyable.
Glen LiveTT - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Drink too much, and you'll be Bourbon' all night ... "555 proof" stuff, by actual lab tests, but alas, DKTOS, or even the band, (You knew that, right?) ... but "Whiskey In The Jar" sounds like a great parody switch for "Strangers In The Night", which played in my brain (such as it is) on seeing TOS title. Cheers, mate!
Andy Primus - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks to Meriadoc, JAB, Peregrin & TT for your votes & comments.

TT – yes, I guessed you wouldn’t know it but you can always Youtube it. You’d probably enjoy this one. It’s a traditional Irish folk tune done in an early 70’s pop/rock style. Great band & great version of the song. I’m surprised they never made it big in the US. Very cosmopolitan band – their best known line-up had one of each of black Irish, white Irish, American & Scottish.

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