I faintly remember what happened in the rough
Took a boot in the fold
And that goon he was so strong now
He knocked me out cold
I thought I was better now, but I'm too kind
I thought I could play rugby but get hurt all the time

Hurt it in a rugby scrum
Dislocated my right thumb
Now it's feelin' kinda numb
Call me dumb

I'm an older man, but do like to play
But I start screamin' when I see ball come my way
Players too fast and large too, gonna hurt me, bro
And the scuffles tag me blind, right on the nose

Hurt it in a rugby scrum
Players beat me like a drum
Then they knock me on me bum
Need some rum

(flute solo)

Blood gonna be streamin' from my bloody maw
I tried to run, but he's got speed, that sasquatch jackin' my jaw
So I came out, too sore; tryin' so hard not to cry
I'll hear another jeer if they see a tear drop in my eye

Hurt it in a rugby scrum
Love the taste of my blood, yum!
They're the sharks and I'm the chum
Ain't much fun

I had my head examined, the news was bad, 'cause it was bleedin' they find
It's the hardest game I ever played, but I'll leave behind
Always someone meaner on the other side of that ball
I was torn and mangled and run over but I guess I was too small

Hurt it in a rugby scrum
Now I guess my brain is numb
And I hear a constant hum
What's that from?