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Song Parodies -> "Die, If Roman (Boudicca)"

Original Song Title:

"My Sharona"

Original Performer:

The Knack

Parody Song Title:

"Die, If Roman (Boudicca)"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

Jamon = Spanish cured ham

They, in AD 61 (or 60), run
They’re the pussy Romans whose town’s afire
I’m a tough Iceni hon; a meanie one
Burn ‘em to a cinder: their town’s a pyre
Gonna make ‘em dead; they all dread, for I’m unrefined
I’m ‘bout to hack a head: love it much, if the Roman kind
D-d-d-die, if Roman

Had a little whippin’ done: no flippin’ fun!
Mostly on the back an’ my thighs: a bummer!
Kids were raped in front o’ me: affrontary!
Gutted at the sound of their cries for momma
Hate is deeply set; got to whet: I’ve an axe to grind
I never will forget: made me retch; now I kill their kind
D-d-d-die, if Roman
D-d-d-die, if Roman

Now we’re gonna rough ‘em up: d-duff ‘em up
We can win the battle in time for supper
Love it g-g-gammon-y; j-jamon-y
An’ then, to wash it down, I don’t mind a cuppa
Romans for the chop; leave the glop for a dog to find
An eye is fun to pop: how they twitch, as you make ‘em blind
D-d-d-die, if Roman
D-d-d-die, if Roman
D-d-d-die, if Roman
D-d-d-die, if Roman

Oooh, die, if Roman
Oooh, die, if Roman
Oooh, die, if Roman

Prasutagus, King of the Iceni, ruled in the East Midlands of Britain (roughly modern Norfolk). He was a client king of the Roman Empire, so his lands were not under direct rule from Rome. When he died, around AD 60/61, his will stated that his possessions were to be left jointly to his family and the Roman Empire. The Romans ignored the will, confiscated all of his lands and property, and treated everyone in the kingdom as slaves. His wife, Boudicca (Boadicea), complained but was then flogged, and their two daughters were raped. She raised a huge army which destroyed the Roman towns of Colchester, London and St. Albans. They marched west to confront the much smaller Roman army but were defeated at the Battle of Watling Street, probably due to a combination of poor tactics and inferior weaponry.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Bruno - June 08, 2011 - Report this comment
I love this. The pacing is sharp and the spikiness of the OS suits the subject matter brilliantly. I like the history angle. Your lyrics, the rhythm of the OS and the character of Boudicca scream attitude with a capital A. Fiesty 555's from me.
AFW - June 08, 2011 - Report this comment
entertaining lesson ancient history
John Barry - June 08, 2011 - Report this comment
What Bruno said. Hisoparody writ well.
Andy P - June 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks Bruno (that's exactly the effect I was going for), AFW & JAB
Patrick - June 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Your lyrics capture the brutality of ancient warfare. No sitting back in an air conditioned room and launching missiles from 7000 miles away. Great choppin' and gloppin'. I can see the dogs prowling the battlefield munching on entrails. A clever use of the original tune and a lesson in history. Who says this site isn't educational?
Old Man Ribber - June 11, 2011 - Report this comment
Andy - Hail Primus Maximus! Even some of us Yanks know of Boudicca. Well told. ;D
Andy P - June 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks to Patrick & OMR for you v/c's
Meriadoc - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment
Yep, like the glop and the dogs too! Looks like a few Romans voted though...
Andy Primus - August 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for the v & c Meriadoc.

As for the Romans voting, I never understand why people can’t (or won’t) differentiate between the pacing and whether it’s funny or not. Funny & overall are opinions and the parody deserves a lower score if it doesn’t raise a titter. Pacing, however, is not an opinion – it’s either right or wrong. One person got it right with a 5-3-3 but I thought the 2-2-2 was unfair because I reckon that I got the pacing spot on for this one.

I haven’t had time to read your history ones yet but I’ve got them bookmarked & will catch up as soon as I can.

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