Short Fat Woman

My hospital stay was a long one
Gettin' someone elses eyes
Sittin' in a messed up bed pan
With the contents pilin' high

No more a loser now with good sight
Watchin people who were goin' along
Just caught site of a woman, Man!
But this big fat woman was all wrong!

A huge pair of thighs made me close my eyes
My stomach contents started to rise
She was a huge fat woman in a tight dress
Just a 4'9 cellulite ball
With just one look I made puke mess
'Cos that short fat woman had the gall!

Saw her headin' for a buffet table
Like a short droolin' tub of fat
The waiter said Oh what are we in for boy!
Well I'm tellin you she fills like a VAT!
Then suddenly she started fartin'
And everybody started to run
Jumpin' outta doors and under tables
When I heard somebody Yellin´to RUN!

Well the waiter was pullin' my left hand
And she was a-pullin' my right
Well I told her I was scared
Please let me be spared
Well I'm gotta be forgiven
If I hafta spend my livin'
With a short fat woman in a tight dress
Just a 4-9 lard ass ball
With just one look I puked a bad mess
'Cos that fat ass woman had the gall!

Had the Gall!

Had the GALL!