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Song Parodies -> "I Caught St. Nick With My Wife"

Original Song Title:

"Attics of My Life"

Original Performer:

The Grateful Dead

Parody Song Title:

"I Caught St. Nick With My Wife"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Another OS from the Grateful's Dead's "American Beauty" album of 1970...
[During instrumental Intro - to Bass Guitar notes]
{can't be so}
I caught Saint Nick with my wife
on all fours, she screamed and squealed
Fat, old jolly Santa Claus
humped away; he wheeled and dealed
Drops of sweat fell from his beard
he smiled with glee

Santa banged my wife
In his hands he held her buns
Bent her over; used her rear
that grossed
me out to see
with her nipples he did play
most merrily

Looking on; was getting steamed
Swear I wanted Santa's blood
I was enraged, yeah, I must say
I prepared to knock him cold
Then spoke these words; that old guy
"Don't screw with me"

He glared
at me
{I freaked}

{Santa's gonna kick my ass?... }

{Never thought of that...huh}

{I guess he could...}

Left me speechless; yes indeed
from what Santa Claus just did say
This Saint Nicholas cat was bold
then my wife sat down on his North Pole
This scene now ingrained in my mind
It made me scream

{Damn It!!}
{With Santa Claus}
{I'll never forget that}

~ ~ ~ the end ~ ~ ~

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
sick but funny, kind of a souped up version of "i saw mommy kissing santa claus"
Paul Robinson - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
I thought of that, too, alvin, in the midst of writing it...and, well...she might have been kissing him in this parody, too...somewhere...
Adagio - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Paul, how did this make it by CG? You have the two sites mixed up?
Paul Robinson - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, I think perhaps because it's really all just imagery. Jeez...did I just say that you have a dirty mind? LOL...
Adagio - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
It wasn't all imagery, Paul...the rest (precious little of it) was imagery.
Larry Hensley - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS. That's what Santa does in the offseason, huh? Funny, 555s
Paul Robinson - March 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Pat, your comment inspired me to start thinking about another (different) parody I might do with this song...maybe...I've got the first section so far...came up with it in the shower this morning(that happens ALL the time!). Larry, among other things ~ ~ ~

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