[During instrumental Intro - to Bass Guitar notes]
{No-no-no-no}
{no-no-no-no}
{no-no-no-no}
{no-no-no-no}
{can't be so}
{no..no..no..no..}
{no....no}
I caught Saint Nick with my wife
on all fours, she screamed and squealed
Fat, old jolly Santa Claus
humped away; he wheeled and dealed
Drops of sweat fell from his beard
he smiled with glee

Santa banged my wife
In his hands he held her buns
Bent her over; used her rear
that grossed
me out to see
with her nipples he did play
most merrily

Looking on; was getting steamed
Swear I wanted Santa's blood
I was enraged, yeah, I must say
I prepared to knock him cold
Then spoke these words; that old guy
"Don't screw with me"

He glared
at me
{I freaked}

[Spoken]
{Hmmmm...}
{Santa's gonna kick my ass?... }

{Never thought of that...huh}

{I guess he could...}

Left me speechless; yes indeed
from what Santa Claus just did say
This Saint Nicholas cat was bold
then my wife sat down on his North Pole
This scene now ingrained in my mind
It made me scream
{Aaarrrgggghhh!!!}

{SH*T!}
{Damn It!!}
{With Santa Claus}
{Yeesh!}
{I'll never forget that}
{Ick!}

~ ~ ~ the end ~ ~ ~