(Ain't no witches like ole one eyed Marge.)
(Ain't no witches like ole one eyed Marge.)
(Ain't no witches like ole one eyed Marge.)

Every night the moon summons a creature
You can hear the wolves howl endlessly.
Every bat will shriek! a freak of nature.
Hades must have spawned this evil seed.
Cause she seems so cold and frigid,
A sight for "No" eyes to see.

Oooh, (ain't no witches like ole one eyed Marge.)
Oh, she, could scare "The Munsters."
(To call her "Cyclops" would just make her charge.)
She don't wear a patch, she's not a catch.
(She'd look better, with a hockey mask.)
Like Michael freakin' Myers.
(Ain't no witches like that one eyed hag.)

She will freak you out when you're tricker treatin' (I'm leavin').
Put a headless chicken in your bag.
You would be advised she's more than Wiccan (what's she brewing?).
Mixing things like hogwarts to brew her slag.
She will stir her blackened cauldron,
Casting her spells, her spells that make her bad, now.
Oooh--Nooh. (Ain't no witches like ole one eyed Marge.)
Well, she'll eat the toad she stepped on.
(To make her happy takes an act of God.)
She's a mean ole witch with facial twitch.
(Pinched too tightly with a big ole schnauze.)
One fateful day it's Ding Dong!
(People, ain't no witches like her found in Oz.)

Oooh. With one good, peeper she'll watch.
She sees just like a hawk.

(Ain't no witches like ole one eyed Marge.)
I've, witnessed her demeanor.
(If she saw bootcamp she would hex the Sarge.)
She would yell and scoff, and tell him off.
(Rapid fire, like a machine gun.)
She'd take him to the cleaners
(Ain't no witches like that one eyed Hun, people.)

(Ain't no woman like ole one eyed Marge.)
Well, she'd eat the toad she stepped on.
(To call her "Cyclops" would just make her charge.)
I'll be a happy man when I hear Ding! Dong!