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Song Parodies -> "Hotel BeastOlympia"

Original Song Title:

"Hotel California"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Hotel BeastOlympia"

Parody Written by:

Jeff Reuben

The Lyrics

In a dark college hallway, cool beer in my hand
Warm smell of a pizza, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a Michelob Light
My can was empty and my fridge was bare, I had to stop for the night
So I leaned in the doorway, I had a dizzy spell
And I was thinking to myself she could be twenty or she could be twelve
I was lit like a candle, and the room seemed to sway
There were voices down the corridor, thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel BeastOlympia, such a lovely place (such a lovely
place), such a lovely case
Plenty of beer at the Hotel BeastOlympia, any kind of beer, you can find it
My mind is defin'ly toasted, I got the beer goggle lens
There are lots of pretty pretty girls, all are tens
How they dance in the dorm room, reeking of ale
Some sleep in the bathroom, some puke in a pale
So I called to my roommate, "Please bring me my beer!"
And he said, "You don't have to yell so loud while the R.A. is near."
And still those voices are calling from far away
Getting up cause I have to go and pee, and I hear them say
Welcome to the Hotel BeastOlympia, such a lovely place (such a lovely
place), such a lovely case
They're livin it up at the Hotel BeastOlympia, the police arrive, what's
your alibi?
Beer stains on the ceiling, the jungle juice on ice
And she said, "We are all playing drinking games here, do you have any
In the master's chamber, played quarters in the heat
Stab it with my steely coin, but I just can't chug a Beast
Last thing I remember, I was crawling for the door
I had to find a passage back to the bathroom on the floor
"Relax," said my roommate, "I got everyone to leave"
"You can pass out anytime you like, but you can never heave!"

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 83

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   3
 4   13
 5   65

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

S.T.G. - June 08, 2004 - Report this comment
That was bloody nifty, when I saw the title I got a little scared. Cuz' something just doesn't seem right when it has the word "beast" in it. J/K Good job.
Rick D - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I can hear the guitar solos at the end getting played more and more badly and out of tune. Great beer song.
wdh - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
65 votes and 3 comments? o.O A great beer song indeed
Jeff Reuben - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
wdh, Rick, and STG...thanks. wdh, I wrote this song before the era of comments, and most of the votes came at that time. It actually had 0 comments before last week when STG came around. - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Beer + Parody = Jeff Reuben. Some great lines in here - I especially liked the 20 or 12 bit, and "when the police arrive." And "warm smell of a pizza" is a great sub for whatever the hell it is they say in the original.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Cheddar in a half-pipe! I forgot to leave a comment the last time I was here! A grotesquely humorous parody, Jeff. Ditto for the '20 or 12' comment. One of the better parodies of this ABC comp but drunken/drug-relate antics have ben over- used as subject matter. 5-4-5
Meriadoc - June 18, 2004 - Report this comment
I have no idea what a Beast Olympia is, but it had me laughing. Perfect pacing and good word play!
John Jenkins - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with most of previous comments. Lots of good lines, and I also liked the R.A. line.
mac - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
One of the better Hotel California parodies. Well done.
Jeff Reuben - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Beast Olympia: Two cheap beers, combined to fit the pacing of the title: Beast (Milwaukee's Best) and Olympia.
ABC's OF PARODIES ROUND "H" WINNER - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment,1578.0.html
ABC's OF PARODIES ROUND "H" GOLD MEDAL - August 25, 2004 - Report this comment;topic=3010.0;id=1343;image - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
What Spaff said. Plus "all are tens," which made me chuckle this go-round. Funny stuff.
Agrimorfee - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC Playoff) I feel obliged to comment, so here it is.
Adagio - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC Playoff) Good one. 5's
Johnny D - April 18, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC Playoff) Wow, great job, Jeff!
Scathe - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABCfinal) *raises a beer* Cheers to Jeff Reuben, the AmIRight booze master.
Agrimorfee - May 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Wow, I read this 4 years ago. Still works. 60plus votes! Jeesus, I wish I could generate such numbers!
Lifeliver - May 09, 2013 - Report this comment
Chugalug! My kind of parody. Funny, accessible and craftily subbed.
Matthias - May 09, 2013 - Report this comment
Wow! I can't believe this song has 80 votes! That has to be a record. I'm sure there's some Spaff songs with that many votes but I doubt there are too many songs out there that even come close to that number. I wish my college days were like this though and this was pretty good although you obviously can write circles around this song now.
Rex - May 11, 2013 - Report this comment
I remember that night, but I didn't remember you were there. :-) Excellent work, I do love me a good beer parody.
Jeff Reuben - May 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone! This is oooold. Back in the day, when there were no comments, votes were far more inflated than they are now.
Max Power - May 18, 2013 - Report this comment
It does explain why the parody structure was a bit raw, the lyrics made up for it.
bobpiecheese - May 20, 2013 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Maybe it's because I've never been to a stereotypical frat college, maybe it's the overabundance of OS lyrics, maybe it's the fact that this parody is nine years old, but I could not get into this, no matter how I tried. These new lyrics were far too generic to really get a grasp of what was going on, and the apparent college setting clashed with the "hotel" title. Pacing was tight, but overall I was just confused. Not one of your best, Jeff.
Arwen - May 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Artistry...Ah Jeffy...nobody reminds me why getting wasted is totally unappealing better than you do. hahaha. Love this...a really solid and strong write!

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