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Song Parodies -> "The Continental"

Original Song Title:

"Hotel California"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"The Continental"

Parody Written by:

Rice Cube & Watt Daddy

The Lyrics

Well, we're not in the contest anymore, but what the hell. This is Christopher Walken's recurring Saturday Night Live character, essentially a sketchy rich guy. Sung by the cameraman/woman-to-be-wooed. Wow-ee-wow-WOW!
Down an elegant hallway, fixin' up my hair
I smell margaritas as I am almost there
Up ahead on the door sign, I see with great delight
It said "The Continental"--it was him!
This was to be a fun night
I waited by the doorway
Shut off my V'rizon cell
And I was thinking to myself
This man is putting me under his spell
There he lit up a candle and he poured Chardonnay
I bid goodbye to the corridor
And it was time to play...

I've come to dine with the Continental
Such a lovely place
Got a funky face!
Plenty of sham-pahn-ye served by the Continental
Any time of year, he will have it here

He gives me a sample ointment, packaged in a chowder can
He says he finds me pretty, maybe we'll be more than friends
Now he walks to the homebar, brings crepe suzette
He dances like Swayze, this dance is a hit!

So I got him to sit down
Please bring me more wine
He said, "This is the best sham-pahn-ye year, 'bout eighteen fifty-nine"
And now his fingers are coming closer my way
Giving me a good deal of fright
Now I run away...

Running away from the Continental!
Punch him in the face
He rebounds with grace
Tryin' to get away from the Continental
Gouge him in the eyes...this just wasn't wise!

Manners unappealing
His advances aren't nice
I hope that I won't be a prisoner here, I won't pay the price
Avoid the bastard's clutches
He really is a beast
He grabs me, but I have a knife
Now I'm going to retreat

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
To get away from this love shack
Can't be here one minute more
"Come back!" cried the sick man
"I'll be good, please do not leave!
Oh well come back any time you like
I'll be better, you'll see!"

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   2
 3   2
 4   2
 5   20

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

cheerleader - March 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Never seen the skit, but still funny. Pacing is dead on!
The Princess - March 04, 2003 - Report this comment
I don't quite know what it is about, but it sounds good!
Rice Cube - March 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Y'all need to be watching some more SNL ;-) Let's hope they come out with a "Best of Christopher Walken" video...I'm not sure they do that for guest hosts though.
Bobby - May 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Just found this board...they ARE doing a best of christopher walken, watch for it next week (May 22, 2004)
Johnny D - May 16, 2004 - Report this comment
How'd I miss this one? I love the Continental sketch - and this parody, too! 555
Agrimorfee - May 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Believe it or don't, "The Continental" was a real TV show (and radio show) from the 1950s. Check out info here (I had to google like crazy to find it!...)­.html

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