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Song Parodies -> "Orthodontist"

Original Song Title:

"Desperado"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Orthodontist"

Parody Written by:

Invisible Boy

The Lyrics

Orthodontist

Orthodontist, I’ve got a mouthful of metal
But my teeth still won’t settle
Let me explain
Just like a beaver
I have protruding incisors
My dental advisor’s now
Just causing me pain

Don’t you tighten my retainer, doc
My gums have started bleeding
And all those rubber-bands keep snapping…can’t you see ?

Though, this wire cage on my head
Helps me with something I’m needing
Now I’m getting HBO
On my TV

Orthodontist, why don’t you change your profession
Sign-up for a session
At Guantanamo
And torture, ohh torture
Soon detainees will be talking
The bill you’ll be chalking-up to their HMO

I guess you must know the Marquis-de-Sade
Your heart is cold and your soul is scarred
You’re getting so Medieval on my mouth
But, I know that with my choppers plumb
There’s no chance that folks will think I’m from
The South…

Orthodontist, I think I’ll start playing hockey
And be an ice-jockey…like Bobby Orr
When there’s a slap-shot…before the goalie can chop it
I’m gonna kiss the puck and drop it
(flash my grin, then crop it)
I’m gonna use my smile to stop it
Need braces no more

IB

I wanted to use a hockey reference in honor of Mr. Pacholek who seems to have parodied this OS more than anyone else here.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Rex - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Brilliant. Transcendental even. :-)
McKludge - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Orthodontal torture? Been watching Little Shop of Horrors recently? 555
Stan Hall - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Hmmm... I'm picturing the ever-delightful Joan Cusack riding the cheese (school bus) in "Sixteen Candles." One hasn't experienced _real_ orthodontic torture, tho', who hasn't been a parent paying for it. :-)
AFW - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
A parody you can really sink your teeth into..real biting satire....Lots of great metaphors
Michael Pacholek - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
He shoots, he scores! (How's that for a hockey reference?) It may not have had a title that was a play on the word "Desperado" (hence my "bottom of the barrel" comment on "Desmond Child"), and a lot of the rhymes are different, but funny overcomes almost anything.
Matthias - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Oooooowwwww!!!! I had bad memories about having braces now, terrible times of my youth, but thankfully those days are done, and my teeth are free of that barbed wire.
alvin - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day...hilarious lines but still matched the mournful tone of the OS...bravo !
John Barry - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Torture and HMO in the same breath--perfect!
MasonR - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree with alvin...best one today. Lots of LOL lines here.
littleCupCakes - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
555 Sir, for "You're getting so Medieval on my lips".
Jack Wilson - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
This was awesome, great idea,5s
Michael Pacholek - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Got an idea for you: To "Eye of the Tiger," how about "Aieeee! The Incisor!"
Invisible Boy - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
I want to thank you all for your comments today. I really appreciate it.

Michael...I like your suggestion. Thanks.This time my problem was I needed a song that started with the letter "O". But, I thought of a couple that you may be able to use for Desperado.
1.) Quasimodo
2.)Desmond Tutu...throw in a few DeBeers jokes, mention Nelson Mandala, compare South Africa to South Boston and end with a Red Sox slam...there, it's almost done ;-) Thanks !
MrMacphisto - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Something to sink your teeth into... 5-5-5
littleCupCakes - March 05, 2008 - Report this comment
I love your commentary ~IB~ Your writing ability is just incredible! As it is with so many of our Knights!!
antidontist - March 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Oh they memories... Good job :)
Matthias - March 06, 2008 - Report this comment
"Orthodontist, why don’t you change your profession Sign-up for a session At Guantanamo" Was my favorite line of the entire parody, but this parody was chock full of Dental Humor, and oh man I can relate, I can relate indeed.
Peregrin - March 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Great stuff, IB, brings back bad memories!
Guy - March 08, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC4-O) Invisaboy - I'm simply indentured to you for this very toothful look at the dentistry industry. Especially liked the Guantanamo ref. I've done this OS a couple of times and it can be a trick to do and the song is longer than most. So you get a lot of points from me on this one. Well done.
Agrimorfee - March 12, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very nice, IB...OTM with my memories of my ortho (the jerk).
stuart mcarthur - March 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) memo to self: must do this OS one day - lovely flow, IB, and some great lines, although if you're able to pick up HBO, there's a chance you could turn this around for a tidy profit - that'll teach em - 555
Jack Wilson - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
See above!
Kristof Robertson - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC3O) Such is my fear of dentistry, I almost had a panic attack reading this....but I'm glad I managed it. Superb...555+
Jeff Reuben - March 19, 2008 - Report this comment
The tooth can be painful, but this was very good! You got good stuff!

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