On a dark corner thigh-way
Drool chicks of despair
Big swell of their teetas
Sticking out, nearly bare
"Get some head right this instance!"
Her lips a glimmering sight
My head grew longer as she flashed her quim
I got a room for the night

There she lay on the bedspread
I saw her missin' teeth
And I was wondrin' if my thing
Could slip between them and get some relief
Then she greased up a candle
Which she shoved up my butt
They heard screamin' down in Ecuador
Right when she bit my nuts

Don't come to this ho'-hell pal I warn ya
Such a nasty place (such a nasty place)
Rather breathe some Mace
Twenty for rooms in this ho'-hell pal I warn ya
Service is severe (Ho's are quite austere)
Better watch your rear

She put some cuffs on my wrists and
She brought in her sadist friends
They used a lot of pretty gritty toys
On my rear end
Think they live in the graveyard
Street hummer-ettes
One wants me dis-membered
One says "Not just yet"

Then one buckled a strap-on
As I start to whine
"Just bear it while I spear that rear
And things will turn out fine"
So shrill my voice is still bawling, must be in hell
Quakes erupt from my tremors at the sight
And they hear me yell

"Don't come to this ho'-hell pal I warn ya
Such a nasty place (Such a nasty place)
Know I'll catch a case
They're strappin' it up at this ho'-hell pal I warn ya
Far as I surmise
This is my demise"

Fear is what I'm feeling
Sheets ingrained with lice
And she said "We'll just keep you prisoner here
'Till we've all gone twice"
Then she hands me an apple
And says "Just take a bite"
I recollect the times of yore
And I say "Please, not tonight!"

Next thing I remember
Waking up on the floor
I knew I must have dreamed it but
My rear end was awful sore
"Relax" said my girlfriend
You know it was just a dream"
Then she smiled with her missin' teeth
And I began to scream