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Song Parodies -> "I Would Do Anything When Drunk(But I Won't Do That"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"I Would Do Anything When Drunk(But I Won't Do That"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

After writing this, I see Michael Pacholek has done Desperado already with Desperate Housewife as the title. Mine is different enough that I am posting it anyway.To pace correctly. "Desperate" is pronounced the southern way, with 2 syllables...des'prit.
Des'prit housewives...get me excited on Sundays
It's still pokin' out Monday, it's so long now
Yea it's a hard one, and it's because of their teasin'
This thing that I'm squeezin' might just blast off right now

Don't you mess with Terri Hatcher's boobs
I'll beat you 'till you're crippled
You know they're real and they're spectacular I bet
And you know I'd give my left nut just to graze upon her nipples
For now I'll have to lick my T.V. set.....

Des'prit housewives, that Terri gives me the hunger
I dreamed that I tongued her, and drove it on home
And condoms?...I must have gone through a dozen
Then she called her help polish my chrome

When her feet got cold behind her head
We just did it doggie style instead
You know that I was happy either way
I'm lickin' both her thighs and toes
And prayin' Woodie doesn't go away...

Des'prit housewives...yes they are such lovely Divas
Both Terri and Eva, turn gay men straight
I'd love a threesome, and wouldn't care if we're caught, though
'Cause I would love menage-a-quatro...(Love menage-a-quatro)
Yes I would love menage-a-quatro (and)
All five would be great

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   2
 4   2
 5   10

User Comments

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Dee Range - December 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Damn, I thought this problem was fixed. The name of this is Des'prit Housewives.
alvin rhodes - December 28, 2005 - Report this comment
well, i figure all your future parodies will bear the same matter...this is great stuff..extra credit for the "hunger/tongued her" rhyme
PMS - December 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Cripple/nipple rhyme did me in! - December 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Heh heh heh. The second stanza, in particular, is perfect. And great title! (Again.)
Michael Pacholek - December 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Dang, Alvin, are you the source of those Teri-in-the-van rumors? Anyway, this song is real, and it's spectacular. Just don't pull Eva and her real-life guy Tony Parker over. Trust me on that one.
Red Ant - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh my hell this is funny, though the title doesn't scan well. ;-)
Lurker - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
It's sad that society is so decrepit that people are no longer taught that masturbation is gravely morally wrong and psychologically damaging, to boot. Masturbation is extremely offensive to God, who gave sexual pleasure for only one purpose (to be used within marriage between man and wife). Even if one is an atheist, he should take note of this: Boys who get addicted to masturbation (and even post parodies based on it) are in danger of becoming narcissistic inverts who will never be good husbands and fathers. Stop now, guys, before it is too late.
Dee Range - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Lurker, it's too bad you dad DIDN'T masturbate, instead. It seems the best part of you dripped down your mama's leg.
Michael Pacholek - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Lurker, the LAST thing you should call anyone (besides "immoral") is "narcissistic." And "inverts"? The word is "introverts"! And while extroverts make the best frontmen, introverts make the best songwriters, so don't, uh, knock it! Introversion, that is. As for the topic of your self, uh, righteousness... Think of it like taxes: A sometimes necessary evil. (That little bit of political jujitsu oughta get his "brain" spinning long enough for us to celebrate the New Year in peace!)
Lurkee - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Besides, masturbation makes you go blind, just like love does. So don't masturbate and don't love anyone.
Immoral Liberal - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry, I just got through masturbating. Ah, Lurker, I thought that - according to people like you - God gave sexual pleasure for TWO purposes 1) to be used within marriage between man and wife and 2) outside of marriage between man and beast. Now where did I put my current issue of Playboy?
Sheepherder - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Lurker, does this mean I have to remain celibate when my sweet lamb is mad at me? Please say it isn't so, I beg of you!
Lurker2 - December 29, 2005 - Report this comment
I believe that one of the Commandments on the tablet that was dropped by Moses was: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's sheep, lamb, donkey or other livestock." Lurker can you honestly say (swear to god now) that you've never masturbated? That you've only had sex for procreation?
Michael Pacholek - December 30, 2005 - Report this comment
No, no, Lurker2, you don't understand: Lurker1 is pro-creationism. Obivously, since he has given considerable evidence that he has not evolved at all! Of course, if he ever procreated himself, please, God, let the baby take after its mother! And we may soon find out his feelings on divorce!
Lurker2 - December 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Is this what happens when you don't have sex? Everything gets all backed up and you start quoting the bible? Oh Lurker pooh?
patty - December 30, 2005 - Report this comment
If you like this song you'll love Toby Keith's "American Soldier" rewritten to become "Really Big Boulders" also on this site. Check it out! I laughed my butt off!
Johnny D - December 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Second verse makes the parody!

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