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Song Parodies -> "Pryin' Guys"

Original Song Title:

"Lyin' Eyes"

Original Performer:

The Eagles

Parody Song Title:

"Pryin' Guys"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

Pretty pearls just seem to find out early
How to make an oyster spit its bile
An itch of sand
That oyster starts to worry
He'll cough up precious paste to coat what's vile

Crated tight, that big oyster's not lonely
I guess ev'ry form of shellfish has its price
But he'll break apart, whatever tool is boldly
Riven through his crack to serve him cold with ice

Something tells him that this oyster's stubbornness is
A sign that something precious is inside
But he don't know he's dealing with a shellfish
With a priceless pearl that it's intent to hide

You can try, you pryin' guy
Get your knife to slip in the side
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way inside, you pryin' guy

On the other side of town a man is waiting
With firey eyes and tools made out of steel
He drives on through the night anticipating
'cause his greed's a need that steels the way he feels

He pushes in his blade, the oyster quivers
He whispers, "Come on bastard, show a smile!"
He swears and swoons and he staggers back and shivers
He pulls away, blade broken, shards in piles

You can try, you pryin' guy
Get your knife to slip in the side
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way inside, you pryin' guy

He gets up, and pours himself a strong one
And stares down at the shards there on the floor
That oyster's life, it's gonna be a long one
He grabs the booze, and pours himself some more

He wonders at this oyster's super-powers
He thinks about Jor-EL and Clark Kent, too
He got so tired - he tried to pry for hours
He grabs a pinch of chaw and has a chew

"My oh my, you sure are quite stubbornly brave,"
He said to that oyster, respectfully
Took that mollusk, back out with him, to the deep waves
And then he placed it back into the sea

You can try, you pryin' guy
Get your knife to slip in the side
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way inside, you pryin' guy
There ain't no way inside, you pryin' guy
Oyster's pearl can hide from pryin' guys
( Chucky, please post this version, thank you )

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

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John Barry - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Shucks, I like it.
Adagio - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I like it too! Difficult to pick out a favorite part, because they all fit together so perfectly to make this parody. 5's (There is still something that says to me 'This is one of Johnny's parodies....should I look for more?') lol
Kristof Robertson - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
A gem of a parody (is a pearl a gem? Answers on the back of a postcard) ;-) 555
Newfoghill - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
O scholar, you have uncovered the origin of the phrase, "Happy as a clam." A charming and earthy ballad, with overtones of Rumi's pearl of great price. How vast your mind!
Johnny D - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you JB, Pat, Kristof, and Newfoghill.
Steven Cavanagh - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
How many other readers expected this to be about a peeping tom? Well done. Now I wanna see them go and kill that patrick guy.
alvin rhodes - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
"come on bastard, show a smile"......too funny......5s
Johnny D - March 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Steven and Alvin.
AFW - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Written tight and just right...Oystered you up some fives
Jeff Reuben - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Keeping all those 5s to yourself? That's pretty shellfish of you.
Johnny D - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank you, AFW and Jeff.
Michael Pacholek - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Five pearls to Johnny, and five lashes with a wet noodle to Jeff for that atrocious pun. You should have clammed up.
Johnny D - March 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Michael.

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