Way down in East Texas land
They like to grow these plants
That look exactly like the thing
That men have in their pants

They're hot and red and spicy, too
So put em in your soup or stew
Way down in East Texas land
They like to grow a plant

That pepper looks like a penis
That thing looks just like a dong
That pepper looks like a penis
It's like a red hot schlong

Peter Peppers are quite small
Just 3 inches in length
But what they lack in size alone
They make up in sheer strength, yeah

You want a pepper in the sack?
They're quite the aphrodisiac!
Peter Peppers are quite small
Just 3 inches in length

That pepper looks like a penis
That thing looks just like a dong
That pepper looks like a penis
It's like a red hot schlong

Jalapenos aren't so hot
Quite impotent are they
Compared to how those Peters are
The Peter's here to stay

Don't try giving me a Bell
Don't want the Anaheims you sell
Jalapenos aren't so hot
Quite impotent are they

The best pepper looks like a penis
That thing looks just like a dong
That pepper looks like a penis
It's like a red hot schlong