The naughty ideas inside my head, begin to overload,
Just what will I buy her for her next birthday,
It’s in a week two days ago!!!

And all my mates don’t understand it,
They say it’s simple just where to go,
They say go to Ann Summers, and buy naughty undies,
But if I did my face would just glow-ow-ow-ow-ow,

“Tell me why” - I can’t buy undies,
“They’re half price” – I can’t buy undies,
“Pink and white” – I can’t buy undies,
I go beetroo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot, just at the thought!

The computer screen, is far from clean,
Advertisements for “underworld”.
It is a scary thought, her dad would be shocked,
At what I might buy for his little girl.

Sweet sixteen, maybe she’d be keen,
To wear lingerie, yellow, black, pink, green?
It would be much quicker,
Than through candy knickers,
And less rough on the teeth, oh, oh, oh, oh…

“tell me why” – I can’t buy undies,
“they look nice” – I can’t buy undies,
“no real vice” – I can’t buy undies,
I go beetroot-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot, just at the thought,
Thought, thought, just at the thought!!!

And now the playing starts in the bedroom now,
She wants to play with her toys a while.
Unwraps her pressie, and soon I’ll be learning,
If my final gift choice, was the right one.

And then with naughty giggles,
slips them on and wriggles,
and I know I’m gonna get first prize.

But they’ll go back tomorrow,
Coz they’re only borrowed,
Thank goodness my mum’s the same size, wise???

Oh no no-o

And the naughty ideas inside her head, begin to overload,
And she has decided to remember this,
A camera’s inside the wardro-obe!

Technology is not her strong point,
And I had been using it before.
And what she didn’t notice was the camera still is
Connected to the tv next door, oh oh oh o-oh,

“Tell me why” - “THOSE ARE MY UNDIES”
“Hear the cries” - “SHE’S GOT MY UNDIES”
“Better hide” - “SHE’S GOT MY…I WANT MY
…GIVE ME MY UNDIES”
“Door flies wide” – “SHE’S GOT MY…I WANT MY
…GIVE ME MY UNDIES”
“Tell me why” – I can’t buy undies,
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot, myself right now!