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Song Parodies -> "Seizures and the Runs"

Original Song Title:

"Seasons in the Sun"

Original Performer:

Terry Jacks

Parody Song Title:

"Seizures and the Runs"

Parody Written by:

Alan Hochbaum

The Lyrics

The edited version
Goodbye to you my dear Depends
You took a load off till the very end
Together we fought each disease
Now there's a buckling in my knees
From the weight of my feces

Goodbye to you my leprosy
I've had you since I was just 2 or 3
You ravaged me at quite a pace
Left me without will or grace
You cut off my nose to spite my face

There's no joy, there's no fun
With these seizures and the runs
And although I will fight
I am headed toward the light

Goodbye to you my thought process
I know what caused you lately to regress
It's happened gradually in degrees
Can't bring back my memories
Must be Alzheimer's Disease

Goodbye to you my thought process
I know what caused you lately to regress
It's happened gradually in degrees
Can't bring back my memories
Must be Alzheimer's Disease

There's no joy, there's no fun
With these seizures and the runs
And these pills, I have found
Will not keep me above ground

There's no joy, there's no fun
With these seizures and the runs
And the doctors may rave
But I've got one foot in the grave

Goodbye to you chlamydia
I'll be so happy to be rid o' ya
You caused some pain in my penis
Made it all fill up with pus
But the swelling was a plus

Goodbye to my emphysema
You've caused more coughing than Hiroshima
Quit my cigarettes - you joke
So I choose now just to choke
With my trache tube full of smoke

There's no joy, there's no fun
With these seizures and the runs
But please leave me alone
I'm composing my headstone

There's no joy, there's no fun
With these seizures and the runs
And it won't cause me fear
When an intern hollers "Clear!"

There's no joy, there's no fun
With these seizures and the runs
But soon my final breath
Will just scare me ALL to death

So when you visit hell
Please make sure to ring the bell
But don't shout out or yell
Don't think I'll be doing well!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

mac - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, but too depressing rate a 5 for funny.
Claude Prez - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
HOLY CRAP THIS IS GREAT; repeating the Alzheimer's verse was genius. Loved it, lots of great lines.
Bunny - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
This is great! Very creative
Ethan Mawyer - February 22, 2004 - Report this comment
this is too unrealistic to be depressing... anyone who had leprosy since early childhood would definitely not get chlamydia. And i agree with claude about the alzheimer's line that made me laugh out loud and that's pretty rare for a written parody. Anyway you've got some sick talent and i gave you all fives
Phil Alexander - August 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Over 8 years between comments :-) What the others said about the Alzheimer's verse.. Chlamydia's a boon to us parody-writing chaps: has so many cute ways to phrase a rhyme. What the others said about the Alzheimer's verse.
Peregrin - August 16, 2012 - Report this comment
One then less than a day between that and the next...something or other...why am I here? I guess that depends...I saw that somewhere. Great job, well written parody (whatever that is, damn Al's shiners).
Claude Prez - June 19, 2017 - Report this comment
HOLY CRAP THIS IS GREAT; repeating the Alzheimer's verse was genius. Loved it, lots of great lines.

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