There’s not a thing I won’t discuss
My whole life’s an open page
And those who stand in my spotlight
Can just get off my stage
From huge GGs to all of my plastic S-U-R-gery
I will get it all out for the lads
Every brain fart fresh and free

Some P-U-B-L-I-city will get me through the day
One more chance to slag off P-E-T-E-R An-dre
I’ll take the ‘Heat’ ‘cos it’s ‘OK!’
So ‘H-E-double-L-O’ me!*
Need at least six inches… of P-U-B-L-I-city!

I’m so hot but people hate it
Why? It’s so unfair
Just’ cos I’m always pissed in clubs
With both legs in the air
They say they pity my poor kids
Second place to my fame and greed
They made my book launch
What more do those little buggers need?

‘Cos P-U-B-L-I-city is the thing I adore
This gift I keep giving ‘til you can’t take any more
So give me ‘Heat,’ it’s all ‘OK!’
And ‘H-E-double-L-O’ me!
‘Cos my bread-and-butter is P-U-B-L-I-city!

And P-U-B-L-I-city has made me what I am
Everybody loves it or they wouldn’t give a damn
They take the ‘Heat’ ‘cos it’s ‘OK!’
To ‘H-E-double-L-O’ me!
And that’s why I get so much P-U-B-L-I-city!