[Department store santa]

i said a dasher dancer to the prancer to the vixen
to the ho ho ho, work at the north
pole, dance to the bang bang boogie they up jumped the boogie
for the only carol with a funky beat

now what you hear is not a test--i'll be rappin christmas eve
and me, the elves, and my friends are gonna put stuff under your tree
see i am jolly nick and i like to say ho ho
to the black, to the white, the red, and the brown, the purple and yellow
but first i gotta bang bang the cookie to the cookie
say up jump the cookie to the bang bang cookie
let's rock, please dont stop
if you be good i won't give you rocks
well so far youve heard my voice but i brought two elves along
and next on the mike is the fat guy
come on, fat guy, sing that song

[real santa]

check it out, i'm the s-a-n-ta-the-c-l-aus
all i do is f-l-y
ya see i go by the code of the jolly st. nick
and these reasons i'll tell ya why
ya see i'm a hundred and one and i'm tons of fun
and i dress to a t
ya see i got more clothes than muhammad ali and i dress so stupidly
i got eight reindeer, i got two big ears
that definitely is the wack
i'm always goin continental and every year i'm back
so after school, you take a holiday break
and you really do deck the halls
i got a color tv so i can see
if you're naughty or nice at all
hear me talkin bout christmas gifts, and christmas cards
more money than a pimp could ever spend
but i wouldnt give a pimp or a bum from the rucker
not a dime til i ho ho'ed again
ya go from hotel to motel you naughty or nice today (say what?)
ya say im gonna get a fly girl gonna get some cookies
drive off drinkin def oj
everybody go, from hotel to motel to holiday inn
say if mrs. claus starts actin up, then you take her friend
old rudy, am I yellow
i've got to go and deliver gifts, y'know


[rudolph]

m'nose shines on n on n on on n on
the shine dont stop until the break of dawn
i said r-u-d, ol-p-h, but they just call me rudy
i said i go by the unforgettable name
and the most famous reindeer of all
well, my name is known all over the world
by all the foxy reindeer and the pretty girls
i went down in history
as the baddest reindeer there could ever be
now i'm flyin the highs and ya feelin the lows
the jingles are gettin into your toes
ya start poppin ya fingers and stompin your feet
and movin your body while youre in bed fast asleep
and the damn ya start doin the freak
i said damn, wake up outta your seat
when out on the lawn there arose such a cladda
ya sprang from ya bed to see what was the madda
ya rockin to the beat without a care
while old st. nicholas is flyin in da air