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Song Parodies -> "Duck When The Missile's In View"

Original Song Title:

"Stuck In The Middle With You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Stealers Wheel

Parody Song Title:

"Duck When The Missile's In View"

Parody Written by:

Dee Range

The Lyrics

Growing up on a B-52 AFB, they made us duck under our desk during air raid drills, back in the early 60's. Especially during the Cuban Missile Crisis. I still carry that desk around with me everywhere, just in case...
Well I guess we'll look like burnt toast tonight
I hear the warnings say bombs are in sight
Don't be scared there ain't no reason to cry
So just bend over and kiss your ass goodbye
Towns to the west will be smokin' through the night
We'll be slammed
Duck when the missile's in view

I'll be duckin' with missiles in view
Prob'ly bubblin' in some nuclear stew
As my nose starts melting right off my face
I'll scream out "So glad we won the arms race!"
Towns to the west will be smokin' through the night
So hot damn
Duck when the missile's in view

When the mushroom cloud is risin'
I just bet they'll call me "Day Glow Man"
As my friends are vaporizing
They'll look up for advising
Je-e-e-e-e-ees....su-u-u-u-u-us!

Cryin' don't make no sense but I bawl
Ain't no use to try to make the loo at all
So be careful where you step on the floor
Never mind, soon it won't matter no more
Crap, none is left in me, smokers grab a light
'Cause it's time...
Suck our last cigarettes too

When bombs are almost landing
I'm be screamin' loud for Superman
As it ends, I'll scream for Mama
Head straight for the sack with my
Squeeeeeze...........Pleeeeeease?

Well there ain't no need to buy cigs tonight
We'll all be smokin' when A-Bombs ignite
What is that? You say the bomb's just a FLARE!!
Grab the booze, and look for new underwear
CROWN™ (ain't much left of it!)
Keg is gettin' light
'Cause I am
Suckin' up whiskey and brew
Yes I'm...suckin' up whiskey (and whew!)
Suckin' up whiskey (and WHEW!!!)
CROWN™,,,,,short for CROWN ROYAL™, The best whiskey Canada makes

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   12
 12
 12
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Arwen - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL! This is hilarious...Dee...the title alone would have had me...but of course you wrote a parody equal to its brilliance. Excellent!
Jack Wilson - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
That was awesome! Love the OS too
John Barry - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
I assumed a ducking position after falling off my chair laughing.!
McKludge - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Duck and Cover, here comes 555 megatons
MasonR - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
The Cuban Missile Crisis was end-of-the-world scary. I know people whose lives were forever changed after going through it. I was a bit too young to appreciate how close we all came to being toast. This parody brilliantly--and somehow, humorously--captured that era. A masterful job!
Michael Pacholek - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Duck and cover yourself with fives. You grew up surrounded by B-52s? Did Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson have the same hair then? (And is it weird that I thought Kate was hot?)
alvin - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
i rolled under my desk....and then laughed my @ss off as well as kissing it goodbye.. beautiful job....i remember those drills well
AFW - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Blockbuster..great work...far out funny...the touch of reality, blended with your imaginative exaggeration makes it topnotch
Dee Range - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Many thanks, to every one, for the nice comments. It's funny how fact can spawn fictional works like this, because I actually went through hundreds of these drills. I grew up on Loring AFB in northeast Maine, and my dad was a B-52 pilot who spent every other week underground in the "ALERT BUNKER", where the crews were expected to be in their cockpits within 2 minutes. We had the air raid drills once every week, for 7 years, and never knew until they were over if they were real or not. The filled underwear thing was a not-so-uncommon occurrence, which is kinda funny now, but back then?...not so much.
Ann Hammond - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
Dee Range - June 14, 2007 - Report this comment
To: "?" I removed your comment, but regret doing so, because now that I know who you are, it is the funniest thing you ever wrote. Sad, but true. And "HA HA HA" is about the extent of the laughs you get here, as well. I've seen your pathetic attempts at humor he he he. I won't pay you back for the 1's, you get your poor votes the natural way, which is penalty enough for you...that, and looking in the mirror every day :-)
Susanna Viljanen - June 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Duck and cover! 555 megatons of fun.
Ricky B. - June 15, 2007 - Report this comment
Jeeeeeeeees.......................suuuuuuus! Hysterical, man. Record this and put it on JibJab, pleeeeeeeeze?
Haywood Carter - June 15, 2007 - Report this comment
This is the bomb!
Red Ant - June 16, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm far too young to remember "Duck and Cover", but this was a refreshing and funny work on one of the most useless ideas in history. Lots of great rhyming here, Dee. 555 Do you have this one recorded yet?

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