It's a long hard road when you're dieting
You go through hell trying to be thin
And those cakes and burgers and fries are a-calling me
I'm trying to resist that wonderful smell
And I'm telling you that I'm going through hell
And the light coming out of the fridge is a-blinding me

These rough old hands start a-trembling
Every time I hear that dinner bell ring
Two sticks of carrot and lettuce and celery
So I sneak back out when everyone's asleep
Just to look at everything that I can't eat
But the light coming out of the fridge is a-blinding me

Chorus
There's a cake – cream filled and I can feel my will
Start a-shifting – I'm in a trance
Too late I took a taste – can't let it go to waste
Not a chance (oh no)

I'm eating my way through an apple pie
Two whole chickens and cold French fries
I'll have to plead temporary insanity
Can't make myself stop at just one bite
I can feel my waistband getting tight
And the light coming out of the fridge is a-blinding me