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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Stand to Learn Esoterica"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Stand to Learn Esoterica"

Parody Written by:

Forteen and Baeutiful

The Lyrics

School is useless and boreing and a waist of time...
Tolstoy and Flaubert -- can't stand them, and who cares what they wrote?
That foreign lit shit ain't really my bag...
So I cut the class to smoke a joint and hang out in the park
Cause I can't stand to learn esoterica...

Cosines and Tangents, I can't understand why we learn them
Trig and equations are useless to me...
It took me four tries to pass with a 65
Can't stand to learn esoterica...

Laughing at the fools sucking up to the teachers
They'll go to college and learn even more of this crap
Better be careful they don't find they've wasted their parents' dough

What does it matter, though -- rich kids will always get richer
I've got no money, no book smarts, no hope...
So I don't even want to see what will become of me
I'll just sit in silence and smoke my weed

School is a lost cause, I cut or sit in back sleeping
They're wasting my time and I'm wasting my life
Counting the days until high school is over...
I can't stand to learn esoterica
Can't stand to learn esoterica...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Phil Alexander - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Lovely stuff, and very good use of the original words
karen - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
As Phil said you made good use of the original words but I happened to have the Greatest Hits CD here and played it as I read through so I noticed the pacing was slightly off in places.
FAB - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, the syllables match the lyrics we were using, so I don't know why. But thanks for reading anyway.
John Barry - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Look like you learned to write parodies. Very good.
The Great Karlando - July 09, 2004 - Report this comment
555 from me too. As far as the pacing goes, I guess it's a little off...but who cares? It's close enough for my liking. I have a hard time knocking down pacing unless somethign is significantly off or throws a line out of whack. Very clever ideas here too.
karen - July 12, 2004 - Report this comment
All I'm saying is that IMO the pacing was slightly off therefore I don't see the point in giving top marks. Otherwise how do you differentiate between a parody that is crack on with the pacing and has you rolling about laughing, compared to one which is off slightly in places (mainly because of the emphasis between words being different I suspect) and merely raises a smile or two? that's all I'm saying
Phil Alexander - July 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I know what Karen's saying - take the first line, for example: "Let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together" has exactly the same syllable count, but you end up stressing the words in the last half of the line wrong, so it doesn't sing through well (though I'd agree wholeheartedly with the commentary on Tolstoy and Flaubert). e.g. if you were to use something like "Tolstoy and Flaubert, can't stand them, won't read them -no, never", it would sing over the top of the original more smoothly.
FAB - July 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I guess different people have a different idea what pacing is. That's okay, at least thank you for explaining Phil Alexander. We get frustrated sometimes because people say pacing is off, but we can't understand why, espcecially because other people say its perfect.
Phil Alexander - July 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Pacing is more than just syllable count: it's about how it sounds when you sing it through. But even then you can't guarantee good pacing marks: I've got a couple which are spot on the syllable count, sing through perfectly and yet still have pacing scores of less than three... c'est la vie, I guess.
FAB - July 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil. You're always cool about explaining stuff. Hopefully that will help us get better at this!
FAB - July 13, 2004 - Report this comment
And by the way, everyone, this isn't opposed to have you rolling on the floor laughing. It's semi- serious cuz its semi-autographical. School is very frustratng for some of us :-).

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