Song Parodies -> I'm White, He's Black...
| Original Song Title: | "I'm Slow, He's Fast....." |
| Original Performer: | Sesame Street |
| Parody Song Title: | "I'm White, He's Black..." |
| Parody Written by: | 2LD4U |
Chris Rock: Hello! I am Chris Rock.David Spade: And, I am David Spade.Together: Today, we are going to sing a song about racial differences!
(Intro Music)
DS: I'm white,
CR: I'm black,
DS: I'm rich,
CR: I'm poor.....
Together: And whenever we walk, drink, eat or sleep or spend....
DS: (Pointing to CR) I always get it before he does, I get much more than he does, I always get it better than he does....
CR: And I always get (Riff) something worse!
(Spoken) DS: Oh look it's Donald Trump looking for a new accountant, I bet I am going to get the job!
CR: Yeah, and I will get a poor-ass job mopping the floor.
DT: Congradulations, Mr. Spade you are my new accountant!
DS: Wow! Now what did I tell you!.....
(Start to sing again).
DS: I'm white,
CR: I'm black,
DS: I'm schooled,
CR: I'm not.....
Together: And whenever we walk, eat, drink or sleep or spend....
DS: (Laughing at CR) I always get it before HE does! I always get more than HE does! I always get better than he does!
CR: And I always get (Riff) bad neglect!
(Spoken)
DS: Oh look! A taxi! I bet I will be the one to get it first!
CR: Yeah, he'll leave my black-ass alone!
(Door opens)
DS: Hi cab driver! I bet I get to go home first too!
Middle Eastern Guy: Yes you do!
(MEG takes gun and shoots DS dead)!
CR: Wow! Maybe it ain't so bad being black!
(Start to sing)
CR: I'm black,
MEG: (Points to corpse) He's white,
CR: Alive!
MEG: (Corpse again) He's dead!
Together: And whenever we walk, eat, drink or sleep or spend....
MEG: He gets killed off before YOU do, he gets killed off before YOU do, He gets killed off before you do!
CR: And I get my ass (Riff) out alive!
(CR and MEG walk off arm in arm and the song ends).
DS: I'm white,
CR: I'm black,
DS: I'm rich,
CR: I'm poor.....
Together: And whenever we walk, drink, eat or sleep or spend....
DS: (Pointing to CR) I always get it before he does, I get much more than he does, I always get it better than he does....
CR: And I always get (Riff) something worse!
(Spoken) DS: Oh look it's Donald Trump looking for a new accountant, I bet I am going to get the job!
CR: Yeah, and I will get a poor-ass job mopping the floor.
DT: Congradulations, Mr. Spade you are my new accountant!
DS: Wow! Now what did I tell you!.....
(Start to sing again).
DS: I'm white,
CR: I'm black,
DS: I'm schooled,
CR: I'm not.....
Together: And whenever we walk, eat, drink or sleep or spend....
DS: (Laughing at CR) I always get it before HE does! I always get more than HE does! I always get better than he does!
CR: And I always get (Riff) bad neglect!
(Spoken)
DS: Oh look! A taxi! I bet I will be the one to get it first!
CR: Yeah, he'll leave my black-ass alone!
(Door opens)
DS: Hi cab driver! I bet I get to go home first too!
Middle Eastern Guy: Yes you do!
(MEG takes gun and shoots DS dead)!
CR: Wow! Maybe it ain't so bad being black!
(Start to sing)
CR: I'm black,
MEG: (Points to corpse) He's white,
CR: Alive!
MEG: (Corpse again) He's dead!
Together: And whenever we walk, eat, drink or sleep or spend....
MEG: He gets killed off before YOU do, he gets killed off before YOU do, He gets killed off before you do!
CR: And I get my ass (Riff) out alive!
(CR and MEG walk off arm in arm and the song ends).
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"You know who the most racist people are? Old black men. Old black men remember what real racism was like. It wasn't any of this 'I can't get a cab' shit. In the old days, the black man was the cab! The white man would jump on his back and say: 'Main Street!'"
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