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Song Parodies -> "Simon Cowell"

Original Song Title:

"Diamond Girl"

Original Performer:

Seals and Crofts

Parody Song Title:

"Simon Cowell"

Parody Written by:

The Comedian

The Lyrics

Speaking from my own past experience as a professional actor and singer, show business is extremely competitive, unforgiving, and often just downright nasty. Simon Cowell on "American Idol" is an honest, up-front, tell-it-like-it-is guy ... Simon knows what show business is really like, so he does contestants a favor when he realistically evaluates their performances.
Simon Cowell
Your words do rile:
"Bad I found you!"
"Bad! Poor! Vile!"

Oh I love
Your wisely vicious role
On the show
"American Idol"

Makes no difference
Who's a "star"
Simon might sigh:
"You should be shinin' cars!"

And how could I
Whine about you?
There is no doubt you
Are da man! (ah-whoa-a-oah-ooo!)

(instrumental)

Simon Cowell,
Rollin' eyes!
Such a Tell-It
Like-It-Is-Guy!

How can you survive
The singing flung at you?
Part of me
Can sympathize with you!

You're like steel,
Their feelings you're hurting!
But you're real!
It's crap they are spurting! (Yeah!)

Simon Cowell,
Thank God they found you!
Because you tell it
Like it am! (ah-whoa-a-oah-ooo!)

(instrumental)

Simon Cowell
Your words do rile!
Simon Cowell
Your words do rile!
Simon Cowell
Your words do rile!
Simon Cowell
Your words do rile!
(They sure do! They sure do! They sure do! They sure do rile! Oh-whoah-oh!)
I've posted my first parody recording on Amiright: http://www.amiright.com/performances/items/performances_1088425474.shtml

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User Comments

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Simon Hung - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Good tune.
Johnny D - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, if Simon-Says "Good tune", that's OK with me! Thanks!
Adagio - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Sometimes you need to be a little tough in the beginning to soften some blows! Like you said. 5's
Paula Abdul - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I think it's just terrific, Johnny!
Johnny D - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Adagio! And thank you, Paula, for being so straight-up about it! Gee, I wonder what the other judges think about this parody...?
Stray Pooch - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
This may possibly be the WORST parody ever written! Ooh, sorry, Johnny. I think I was channeling the spirit of Simon there for a sec! 555 as usual. Hey, my middle boy is dancing and singing in the Virginia Musical Theater's production of "Pippin" next week. He majors in dance at ODU (formerly a music major at UMASS Lowell but changed his mind). The director bumped him up to a major dance solo and even shifted some lines around to give him a bigger (but still bit) part. After this he auditions for their production of "Cats". If he can scrape up enough to pay his union dues he might go someplace! Oops, now I'm channeling the spirit of a proud papa! :D
Johnny D - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Stray Pooch. Tell your son that your Amiright colleague Johnny D says "BREAK A LEG!!"

"1776" by The Concord Players is not over yet! On Friday July 16 we're doing a free performance at Quincy High School, sponsored by The John Adams National Historical Park. And on Saturday July 17, we are doing a free performance in Boston in FANEUIL HALL !!!! Here's a link to info about our Faneuil Hall performance:

http://www.concordplayers.org/1776/FHall.html
Stray Pooch - July 02, 2004 - Report this comment
OMG!! Faneuil Hall and 1776. God I'm homesick!!!!

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