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Song Parodies -> "The Puritans"

Original Song Title:

"The Candyman"

Original Performer:

Sammy Davis Jr.

Parody Song Title:

"The Puritans"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

A little ditty about the main relegion in the 1600's around the time of the Salem Witch Trails... For more information go to this website:
Who can make your demise
Frightening, you're screwed?

Scaring all the Catholics
"You're Pitiful It's true"

The Puritans
The Puritans can
The Puritans can
Cause they say you pissed off God
And if you sin, you're no good

Who can make a Bible
Scare you till you cry?

If you sin just once
You'll dread the day you die

The Puritans?
The Puritans!
The Puritans Can!

The Puritans can
Cause they say you pissed off God
If you sin, you're no good

The Puritan aches
No sex, or coffee breaks
Satisfying's done by demons
Under God you can't be freeman
Unless you're hanging in Hell screamin'

Who can make a Sunday
Day for you to plead?
Castrate a fun day
To set your soul on bleed

The Puritans
The Puritans can
The Puritans can
Because you all pissed off our God
By wearing indoors your hood

And you pissed off our God
Way to go you freaking jerkwaaaaaaaaad!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
what a scream...5s
AFW - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Humerous perception
Lime - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Hahaha Very nice 555
Johnny D - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
5s for thee, Brother Matthias. This Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I will be working on stage crew for The Vokes Players' ( ) production of "The Crucible" by Arthur Miller.
Matthias - July 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Fellas, and Johnny D: Break a leg....
tomario - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
DECATHLON "No sex, or coffee breaks"lol made i chuckle
Jeff Reuben - August 16, 2006 - Report this comment
No Thanksgiving dinner for you!
Josh 2 - August 17, 2006 - Report this comment
brillaint 5s
Johnny D - August 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon) See thou abovest.
bobpiecheese - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(Decathlon - Event 1) I always knew Puritans were crazy...but not that crazy! Okay, maybe they were that crazy.
Stuart McArthur - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(decath1) loved it, Matthias - how did those puritans manage with no coffee breaks? - man,they did it tough - hilarious idea, and very funny execution - 555
Arwen - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
DECATHLON...VERY funny, Mathias...lots of fun lines, and to an OS that's just a ball to parody...=)
Kristof Robertson - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(DEC1) What a great juxtaposition of OS with theme! Wonderfully written, Matthias...555
Michael Pacholek - August 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Don't know how I missed this one, but this was sinfully good.

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