-> "2112 Main Street"
Original Song Title:
"2112"
Parody Song Title:
"2112 Main Street"
The Lyrics
(long instrumental intro)
And the geeks shall inherit the earth...
(... The cracked grey wallpaper of the house rise from the heart of every suburban city. I have always been disgusted by them! Our mortgage, our closure, our property taxes are all looked after by the benevolent wisdom of the realtors...)
Realtor:
We've taken care of everything
The mortgage rate, the contracting
The front porch give displeasure to your eyes.
It's one for all and all for one
We work for Century 21
Never need to wonder how or why.
We are the best in the business of realty
filthy wallpaper fills the rooms and halls.
We are the best in the business of realty
All the fiberglass is held within the walls.
Look around at this home they made
Equality our stock in trade
Move in just as soon as you all can
Oh, what a nice, contented home
may you call this house your own
Have the closing contract in your hand.
We are the best in the business of realty
filthy wallpaper fills the rooms and halls.
We are the best in the business of realty
All the fiberglass is held within the walls.
(... inside the smelly dusty basement, in the little room that was hidden beneath the bathroom, I found it. I brushed away the dust of the years, and fooled with it, holding it reverently in my hands. I had no idea what it might be, but it was beautiful ...)
(... I learned to lay my fingers across the dials, and to turn the knobs to make the air feel differently. As I flipped a switch with my other hand, it produced a cooling rush of air, and soon air conditioning! How different it could be from the ceiling fans! I can't wait to tell my parents about it! ...)
What can this strange device be?
When I touch it, the air temp goes down
It's got dials and numbers like a meter
What can this thing be that I found?
See how it cools down the bedrooms
so we won't have to take the heat
air that feels like winter mountains
I know that now summer will be beat.
I can't wait to share this new wonder
my parents will all see I'm right
they'll see the fans are just useless
we'll sleep a lot better each night.
(... In the sudden silence as I turned on the air, I looked up to a circle of grim, expressionless faces. My father rose to his feet, and his somnolent voice echoed throughout the house ...)
(... Instead of the grateful joy that I expected, they were words of trying to save electric costs! Instead of praise, I watched in shock and horror as my father smashed the precious thermostat to metal scraps)
I know it's most unusual
To whine and piss and moan
But I've found the air conditioner
I thought that you should know
Feel the air vents blasting
And see what it can do
There's something here that could save life
This weather could kill you.
Dad:
Yes, we know, it's nothing new
it's just a waste of time
We have no need to spend that much
The fans are doing fine
Another toy will help destroy
our family with the bills
Forget about that costly whim
we have our needs to fill.
I can't believe you're saying
These things just can't be true
we just can't sit and suffer
Just think what we might do.
Feel the air vents blasting
You'll see what it can do
There's something here that could save life
This weather could kill you.
Dad:
Don't annoy us further!
We have some work to do.
Just think about expenses
But it's not fine for you.
Another toy will help destroy
our family with the bills
Forget about that costly whim
We have our needs to fill!
(... I guess it was a dream, but even now it all seems so vivid to me. Clearly yet I see the paint chipping and the tiles crackling off as I sat in the lukewarm bath...)
(...I see still the incredible beauty of the surrounding houses compared to our old rag from outside the bathroom window. I was overwhelmed by wonder as I saw the bathtub's marble chip away with age, a tub I thought the former owners had fixed long ago. I saw now how miserable this house had become...)
I wandered home through suburban streets
And wanted just to fall sleep
at least I get good sleep at night
the switch is broken to the light
I sit inside my tepid bath
Another tile falls in my bath
No Calgon to take me away
I can't take this another day
I see ceramic crack to bits
the toilet flows over with s**t
I see the floor tiles start to rise
With caulk that's old, I'm not surprised
They left this trash hole long ago
Why can't we pack our bags and go?
I just don't want to wait too long
A nicer home's where we belong
Time to tear this s**thole down...
Time to change!
(...I have not left this dump for days now, it has become my last refuge in my total despair. I have only the ceiling fans which only blow the hot air around to cool me now. I can no longer live in this pathetic excuse for a house, but there is no other place to go. My last hope is that with some hard alcohol I can ease the pain, and know peace at last.)
The sleep is still in my eyes
The anger's filling in my head
I heave a sigh and sadly smile
And lie a while in bed
I'm going down to blast the air
I don't care what they say...
Just think of what my life might be
In a better house than this!
I don't think I can carry on
Carry on this scorching, sweaty life
My spirits are low and I need to get drunk
I want this...
...s**t over...
Attention all realtors of Century 21
Attention all realtors of Century 21
Attention all realtors of Century 21
You really screwed us over.
You really screwed us over.
You really screwed us over.
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.9 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 12 |
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