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Song Parodies -> "Enter the Stealth Race"

Original Song Title:

"Act of Faith"

Original Performer:

RFS

Parody Song Title:

"Enter the Stealth Race"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

This OS has been modified with several added verses and lengthened lines to provide the most accurate chronological history of stealth technology development from WW1 all the way to present day. Interesting to note that German stealth in WW2 which was the first true anti-radar stealth aircraft by the Luftwaffe was actually taken from Kriegsmarine developments for stealthing their Type XXI and XXIII U-boats. They were covered in a synthetic rubberized material called Opanol to defeat sonar while the Schnorkel was covered with anti-radar Tarnmatte. Both worked (although the earliest applications of Opanol got loose with salt-water exposure over time and had to be refitted with a stronger bonding process) and so the Luftwaffe investigated dielectric materials and primitive RAM fillers for the Ho-IX. Anti-stealth paints were also being developed as well as crystalline faceting (part of GEMA's crystal radar research).
[Visual Stealth]

Doped linen Taube
Not seen from the ground
Experiments with cellon material
Linke-Hoffmann R.I appearance was unreal

Project Yehudi
Gonna kick some U-booty
Blinding lights, switched on in flight
Blended into horizon, in broad daylight

[Anti-radar stealth]

Horten IX flying wing
Wooden construction with RAM filling
Was first true stealth aircraft
Flew in 1945, US captured one intact (V3)

WW1 to WW2
Stealth aircraft were built, some flew
But technology was not mature
Thank God that the Nazis designed so many more

(Chorus)
Enter the Stealth Race
Gotta keep pace
From World War to Cold War and Beyond
Designed to RCS erase

Roswell was a mystery
Was it a Horten X- that made conspiracy history?
Black triangular machine- really?
With anti-radar grooves cut into its belly?

And Kenneth Arnold’s sighting
Yes, it was frightening
But was it a formation of Horten fighters?
Not “flying saucers“, reporters were liars
(flying wing deniers)

SR-71, well, it had some
U-2 covered in Ironball paint, didn’t wanna lose another one!
But nothing further
Until the experiments were over

Enter the Stealth Race
Gotta keep pace
From World War to Cold War and Beyond
Designed to RCS erase

Next in line was the Windecker Eagle
Built with early RAM materials
It was invisible to radar
But the USAF wanted something new altogether

Taken from a book declassified in the USSR
The USAF tried faceting as anti-radar
Lockheed called it the “Hopeless Diamond”
Became “Have Blue” F-117 that started flyin’

Meanwhile, in West Germany
In secret, a mock-up was built by MBB
It was a strange stealth interceptor
Also faceted, but armed- and better

USAF was enraged
West German Govt. engaged
Warned to “shut the project down”
MBB became DASA then EADS, German stealth still around

Enter the Stealth Race
Gotta keep pace
From World War to Cold War and Beyond
Designed to RCS erase

USAF went on to design the B-2
It was a jet flying wing too
More akin to a Horten design
Northrop built 20 bombers that worked fine
(unless you count bad weather damage times)

But then came talk of Russian plasma stealth
And the UK flew H.A.L.O. all by itself
Seen by British Airways, so many times
The MoD denied it, then reversed and said it was classified

More revelations
Stealth sensations
EADS was testing black triangles
Over the RSA nation

From Belgian Wave to Area 51 base
Strange sights fill the sky, hard to keep pace
In UK, Replica was on display
In Russia T-60S rumored built over several decades

Enter the Stealth Race
Gotta keep pace
From World War to Cold War and Beyond
Designed to RCS erase

Finally, a few programs were leaked
Sentinel, Snowbird, Super Valkyrie
Thunder Dart, TR-3a Black Manta
Bird of Prey all the way to TR-3b ASTRA

Europe too
With Dassault “Talon” and German “Firefly II”
Swedish stealth cruise missile, German-Spanish Barracuda flew
In UK something crashed, looked like a hybrid YF-23 to boot

World is filled with stealth designs
Some on paper, others flyin’
China and India are late-starters
Russia is funding Sukhoi stealth fighters

Designed to fight WW3
Stealth originated with Germany
Part of Luftwaffe inventory
Horten captured in Allied victory
(precedes 1960s USAF stealth history)

Enter the Stealth Race
Gotta keep pace
From World War to Cold War and Beyond
Designed to RCS erase

Enter the Stealth Race
Gotta keep pace
From World War to Cold War and Beyond
Designed to RCS erase

Enter the Stealth Race
Gotta keep pace
From World War to Cold War and Beyond
Designed to RCS erase









Linke-Hoffman R.I: http://members.jcom.home.ne.jp/mig_exp/linke-hofmann-r-I.jpg Horten Ho-IX: http://tanks45.tripod.com/Jets45/Histories/HoIX/Go229_3.jpg MBB Lampyridae: http://www.aviationmuseum.eu/World/Europe/Germany/Niederalteich/lampy01.jpg http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/picturesm/gem11.jpg

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Wild Child JIN - June 15, 2011 - Report this comment
I've got a pic of a Stealth, it may be a little more modern, but you can take a look if you wish - https://picasaweb.google.com/wildchildilgwom1973/JimmySPhotosAndPictures#5578117655768076210 - and excellent parody Rob! Three fast flying 5's for you! :-)

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