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Song Parodies -> "Time For Me To Lie"

Original Song Title:

"Time For Me To Fly"

Original Performer:

REO Speedwagon

Parody Song Title:

"Time For Me To Lie"

Parody Written by:

A Room Full Of Monkeys

The Lyrics

"Given an infinite amount of time, a roomful of monkeys with typewriters would eventually type the entire works of Shakespeare." --cliched science adage

"Plus an infinite number of lame 'Sk8r Boi' parodies" --Claude Prez
I've mowed the lawn for you
Stifled a yawn for you
But I just can't get any nookie
I swallowed a bug for you
Said "Hey nice jugs" for you
But you won't let me live here rent-free

You got me grubbin' your cash away
To give to a stripper
shovin' your dog halfway
into the wood-chipper
And I'll bet you'll ask
How did Fifi die
I believe it's time for me to lie

You tried to throw me out
Said that you had no doubt
That I had your kids dealing drugs
And I'm so offended then
Cuz they're lousy salesmen
And did I mention you got nice jugs?

I've had enough of the insults
And false accusations
Enough questions bout my
Great aunt's operations
Oh I want your cash
And when you ask me why
I believe it's time for me to lie

Time for me to lie
Now where could all your jewelry be?
Time for me to lie
Oh, at the pawn--um, I mean don't ask me
Do I like your spam pot pie?
It's time for me to lie

Time for me to lie
Oh, how did your car hit that tree?
Time for me to lie
It jumped right out in front of me
Oh wo wo
Do I think your IQ's high?
It's time for me to lie-yi-yi-yi
It's time for me to lie

Does your butt look really wide?
It's time I really lied
"Put a bunch of monkeys in a room with a typewriter, and eventually you'll have a roomful of dead monkeys." --Scott Adams

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User Comments

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Meriadoc - September 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Howcum no one's voting on this? This song only got played on MTV 3 zillion times a day - surely it is recognized? And I like this version infinitely better! :-D
Claude Prez - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks Merry - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Hey Monkeys: I see that you have quoted the great Claude 4 Prez in your intro, and that you seem to be channeling him in your style. To quote Frida from Abba, "I know there's something going on." Please untangle my neurons.
Claude Prez - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Spaff: You'll probably figure it out from other comments, but here goes: I was sick of doing all that hard work worrying about whether a song was any good or not, when everyone knows the important thing is to do as many as possible to go up higher on the list (you slacker). So I decided to see how many times a room full of monkeys with a keyboard could fill out a submission form. It's actually harder than I thought to physically fill it out without concerning myself with trifles like whether it rhymes or not. But I still think a room full of monkeys belongs in the "top submitters club", dammit. Plus I want to run down my surplus of ideas that are barely good enough to keep. It's pretty fun, actually, and by doing very little work I care very little about the votes I get and it gives my mind the freedom to pursue ideas I normally wouldn't. Yeah, I bet your neurons are all better now, eh?
Claude Prez - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Just reread this; I guess I coulda just said "I'm bein' a dick" and left it at that.
Melhi - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Well, Claude, if you're going to be one, you may as well be a big one... er... um...a big parody writer, I mean. Very funny, btw. Fave line was the one about being miffed that the kids were lousey salesmen... and a very close second was Fifi in the chipper. - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Oh I see, C4P. Well, if the Monkeys and their typewriters are gonna be as prolific as Tong or Malcolm or Guy, you'll have to forgive me for not catching everything they throw out. I just can't keep up. For what it's worth, I try to submit a parody a week, which I used to think was a pretty good clip. (At that pace, it will take me just under 16 years to catch Tong, provided that he never submits another parody. So I'm hot on his trail.) Anyhoo, go ahead and be a dick, 'cause you're good at it. It's all about the numbers, baby!
ChuckyG - September 03, 2003 - Report this comment
yesh, I hope people aren't actually going to try and catch up with Tong and Malcolm, that just means more crap for me to review every morning.. I would think comments and votes on your parodies would be good enough without trying to compete for top submittor honors.. you were kidding right?
Claude Prez - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Chuck--Thanks for speaking up; I often wonder what you think of all this, seeing as how it must be a ton of work for you. I was kidding; it just bothers me to see good writers concern themselves with quantity and this is my little way of dealing with it. Thanks for all your hard work and click on the damn ads everybody! Spaff--I have the same problem. Also, especially when I submit a lot more songs that I’ve admitted I didn’t work too hard on, I certainly don’t expect them to get a lot of attention. Melhi: Always great to hear from you. And I’ve been meaning to ask: does your name rhyme with “smelly” or “swell guy”? Just curious. Thanks all.
Melhi - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Claude, it has a long i, so it rhymes with "swell guy." Chucky, I've spent the last two days writing sk8er boi parodies -- just one line left to finish and I'll have reached my goal of 300 ... should I submit them all at once or send half today and half tomorrow? (Please don't kill me -- I'm kidding!!!)
ChuckyG - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Since the inception of the site, there seems to be a struggle by the authors on the site to get their parodies noticed. I used to have the voting results on the front page of the site, but then people tried to juice their voting results (I still get the occasional fraud). The more submissions each day, the harder it gets for new authors on the site to get noticed. I'd hate if people got discouraged too easily from writing new stuff for the site just because they didn't think they were getting read. Judging from the number of comments on some parodies, I don't think people read the parody always vote. I keep thinking of putting a cheasy "hit counter" at the bottom of the pages.
Adagio - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Chucky...cheesy or not, maybe a counter would help.
Claude Prez - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Melhi: Damn! There goes my Sam the Sham "Smelly Melhi" parody--also, only 300? You piker; I hope at least a third of them involve the word "poser"...Chuck: Thanks again; this place is great. Adagio: You said "Chucky...cheesy"
Adagio - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Claude...LOL...I assume u have them there too?
Claude Prez - September 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Adagio: Yeah; I'm glad you've heard of it.
Diva - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Chucky Cheesy................ ROFL Thats Priceless! - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
This parody wins the "most comments with least votes" award - congrats, Monkeys!
Hey Chucky, if you're still tuned in, I like the Chucky Cheesy counter idea. It would allow those who crave attention (isn't that everyone?) to see that their parody's getting read, even if nobody votes or comments on it. On the other hand, it would give everyone one more stat to obsess about.
Melhi - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Oh yeah? Well mine are really really "meen," because I'm such a jealous little h8er, so I bet mine get more semi-literate flames in the comments than yours do! Nyah :P Seriously, I'm so sorry I've ruined your Smelly Melhi parody idea. Luckily, it doesn't affect my plans to write "Here Comes Smelly Claude" to "Here Comes Santa Claus" hee hee hee!
Melhi - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Claude: One of these days I'll get the hang of this aging business and remember to don my reading glasses when I sit down at the monitor, instead of ten minutes later when my eyes are about to explode. I thought you said 30 percent of *yours* had Poser in them... and, being the jealous little h8er that I am, I lashed out because I hadn't thought of using that word -- wow, that's brilliant, btw. I just hope someone else doesn't read this and use the idea before I get a chance!! ;)
Claude Prez - September 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Melhigh: Actually I am thinking of a "Sk8r Boi" parody for real; we'll see if it pans out ("Here comes Smelly Claude"--Hee! Hee!)
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Chucky. Others. How about moving the line for the Top Submitters Club up to 100? And having the number of parodies for everyone above that line displayed as 100+ or >100, with the order between them decided by how many parodies they have in the Top 100 list for Overall (or Top 500, or Top 1000 if it takes more than 100 to separate them). I think that would be a good incentive for quality over quantity, and against the Newbies-Rushing-It-To-25 phenomenon. Heck, we even have a sort of Rushing-It-To-Be-First-Above-1000 race between Tong and Malcolm now, and that´s just sad to see.
Guy DiRito - September 07, 2003 - Report this comment
I like the cheesy counter idea too. I think it would give us writers an idea just how many people are reading our songs. Maybe just count an entry the first time someone opens it using the IP for control just as it is done with voting. This would give us a real idea just how many people actually read our work. This could be another category for stats as well.
Adagio - September 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Guy, m' is officially called "Chucky Cheesy" :D
Wild Man - September 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Seeing that the suggestion was made to move the top submtters line to 100, so new comers could see their name in lights may be a good idea , what about letting authors submit a bio at say 25 parodies? (seeing that I'm up to 18) Or perhaps have 2 ways to search an author: By alphabetical and numerical orders. hope this helps. By the way do you get paid on the google ads by the click, or do you make a percentage of the sale? Amirighters need to know! We realize that you have to make a living for being our webmaster. By the way most of us love the google ads!
Adagio - September 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Chucky, I've found that since I've already reached past 25 (still a small number), there seems to be less pressure to put out quantity. It may be just me though.
Melhi - September 07, 2003 - Report this comment
Wild Man, I think we can already submit a bio at 25 parodies. Chucky, hang my chads for the counter experiment and against moving the top submitter line. Moving the top submitters line to 100 would likely be counter productive, resulting in races to 100 instead of to 25. If you remove that line, the parody count, the top tens, etc., those who see those features as goals or challenges instead of tools will find similar goals and challenges in something else... like most comments or most parodies on a specific topic or to a certain original, etc. If the site becomes too time and labor intensive, the easiest and most obvious way to reduce your workload would be to switch to members-only submissions and impose a limit on the number of submissions per member per given time period. (Not a suggestion, by any means, just an observation.) That would address quantity, but not necessarily quality as some of the most prolific submitters, here, also happen to be among the most talented.
Know 1 can hear you drem - September 08, 2003 - Report this comment
Melhi. There´s a big difference between 25 and 100. I don´t think any newbie would rush it to 100. If they tried, it would most likely lower the quality of their parodies so much that once they got there noone would bother to read´em or vote anymore. It would be contraproductive. BTW: This debate has been moved over to the Messageboards, see you there.

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