Headache number one was when we hooked up,
On our honeymoon night..you just sawed logs
For headache number two, you said I don't do such things
That whole weekend..I..was walkin' dogs..

Cuz' you had...
Headaches when we'd slumber,
Neck pain till I'd snore..
Every night was "No, no, no"
I got no love, no more..
Yes, you had..
Headaches when we'd slumber,
Migraines quite a lot..
Think your sex pipes need a plumber,
Cuz' they ain't gettin' got..

That marriage counselin' we tried, was hopeless
The poor old gal just gave up with a groan..
Said I was in a marriage hell of..cel-i-ba-cy
'Stead of "I Do" you should'a said, "I Won't"

Yes, you had...
Headaches when we'd slumber
I just walked the floor
Every night was "No, no no"
Ze-ro is what I'd score..
Cuz' you had...
Headaches when we'd slumber
No romantic urge..
Your ailments just kept buildin'
A dam to Willie's surge..

Your ailments won't stop buildin'
A dam to Willie's Surge..